LokiOfSassgaard

I have no idea what I'm doing

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My fic goes out via newsletter.  You can subscribe to receive updates, if you do not want to wait for it to be archived.  Newsletter chapters will always be early previews, and may be subject to changes or revisions.  Also, there will be typos.  Because they are early drafts.  Subscribe via the form below to get weekly chapters sent to your email.


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Once again taking fic requests for donations

Just as I was going to bed, some horrific news I think many of us saw coming broke.  So when I got up today and saw that I hadn’t imagined it, and that this is all very real, I went on to Tiltify and found a few more charities to add to the campaign.

So, once more I’m going to do fic requests for donations.  If you donate $25 or more, you can email me your receipt and I will write you a short fic (~2,000 words).  Donating more will get you a longer fic.  I have only a few caveats to what I will not write.

  • No extreme underage—anything younger than high school aged
  • Bodily fluids are a grey area, and may get turned down
  • Must be for fandom I know.  I don’t have time to watch a new TV show

Fandoms I have written for include the following:

This is not an exhaustive list, and only includes what’s been uploaded and properly tagged here on my site.  You can ask about others that aren’t on this list, but again, if I have not seen or read it, I’m going to have to decline and ask you to pick something else.  Last time around, people donated and asked for certain fics to be continued or updated, and that is cool too!

Price ladder:

  • $25 – 2,000 words
  • $35 – 5,000 words
  • $50 – 10,000 words
  • $75 – 20,000 words
  • $100 – 35,000 words
  • $100+ – Negotiable

Keep in mind, writing is a slower process than art.  It will take me a while to get through everything if I have a lot of responses to this.  Smaller fics will get prioritised so I can get them out more quickly, while longer fics will get the care and attention they need.

I hate this.  I hate that this is even something I feel the need to do at all.  But here we are, once again having to claw back rights and dignities that should have been guaranteed for all.

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Ours to Keep #12

Ours to Keep (Word Count TBD) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 12/?
Fandom: Thor, Loki (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage, Dubcon
Pairings: Loki/Sylvie
Characters: Loki, Sylvie, Thor, Angela, Odin, Frigga

Summary: After Bor’s death, the entire family manage to make it into town for the will reading. It’s only been a few months since Loki had a close call with a car accident he probably should not have survived, which only adds to the tension of having too many people in a house with not enough beds.

But the funny thing about death is it has a way of unveiling all sorts of secrets, whether or not they have anything to do with the deceased. And for Loki and Sylvie, this has the potential to be catastrophic.

Note: This fic is being posted as a kinkmeme fill.  It may get edited at a later date.

AO3 | Website

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Ours to Keep #11

Ours to Keep (Word Count TBD) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 11/?
Fandom: Thor, Loki (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage, Dubcon
Pairings: Loki/Sylvie
Characters: Loki, Sylvie, Thor, Angela, Odin, Frigga

Summary: After Bor’s death, the entire family manage to make it into town for the will reading. It’s only been a few months since Loki had a close call with a car accident he probably should not have survived, which only adds to the tension of having too many people in a house with not enough beds.

But the funny thing about death is it has a way of unveiling all sorts of secrets, whether or not they have anything to do with the deceased. And for Loki and Sylvie, this has the potential to be catastrophic.

Note: This fic is being posted as a kinkmeme fill.  It may get edited at a later date.

AO3 | Website

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Newsletter + AO3 stuff

You know how I keep saying I don’t trust AO3, because I could wake up tomorrow and find the servers have been sucked into a black hole? Well, the recent 503 errors have been really bugging me for exactly that reason. And while I don’t expect AO3 to go anywhere, I trust it to stick around that much less lately.

But today I sat down and made sure I had redundant backups of everything, on both accounts. The only thing I didn’t directly backup were the art uploads, because those are already backed up in a different way. But everything text-based that’s on AO3, for both accounts, is securely organised on Dropbox and hard disk.

Just in case.

And as I’ve been getting more and more disillusioned with AO3 as a whole over the last few years (even with the block feature finally on the way), I’m going to do a chapter dump over there at some point over the next few weeks, uploading everything that’s been going out to my newsletter. I’m also going to stop drawing out newsletter uploads, spacing chapters out once per week. That seems to make it too easy for me to forget what I’m doing and lose track. The issue going out this weekend (and there will be one this weekend) is going to have a massive fic dump. Not everything will be embedded, because I don’t want to send out newsletters with 30,000 words. That’s irritating. For dump issues, like this one, I’ll embed the first new chapter of whatever’s going out, and then link to the rest.

And those following me on Twitter know why newsletters have been weird the last couple of weeks, but for those who don’t follow me there, or if you missed it, I had a fairly routine doctor visit go extremely tits up. Certain words have not yet been uttered, but the litany of tests and appointments I’ve got over the next few weeks have me running ragged. Perhaps understandably, by the time Friday has rolled around the last couple of weeks, I just didn’t want to do anything. For the most part I have been camping in front of my turntable and scrolling Twitter lately, and doing very little else.

But more on that when I know more.

Anyway, that concludes this irregularly-scheduled incoherent rambling.

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Ours to Keep #10

Ours to Keep (Word Count TBD) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 10/?
Fandom: Thor, Loki (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage, Dubcon
Pairings: Loki/Sylvie
Characters: Loki, Sylvie, Thor, Angela, Odin, Frigga

Summary: After Bor’s death, the entire family manage to make it into town for the will reading. It’s only been a few months since Loki had a close call with a car accident he probably should not have survived, which only adds to the tension of having too many people in a house with not enough beds.

But the funny thing about death is it has a way of unveiling all sorts of secrets, whether or not they have anything to do with the deceased. And for Loki and Sylvie, this has the potential to be catastrophic.

Note: This fic is being posted as a kinkmeme fill.  It may get edited at a later date.

AO3 | Website

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Ours to Keep #9

Ours to Keep (Word Count TBD) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 9/?
Fandom: Thor, Loki (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage, Dubcon
Pairings: Loki/Sylvie
Characters: Loki, Sylvie, Thor, Angela, Odin, Frigga

Summary: After Bor’s death, the entire family manage to make it into town for the will reading. It’s only been a few months since Loki had a close call with a car accident he probably should not have survived, which only adds to the tension of having too many people in a house with not enough beds.

But the funny thing about death is it has a way of unveiling all sorts of secrets, whether or not they have anything to do with the deceased. And for Loki and Sylvie, this has the potential to be catastrophic.

Note: This fic is being posted as a kinkmeme fill.  It may get edited at a later date.

AO3 | Website

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Ours to Keep #8

Ours to Keep (Word Count TBD) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 8/?
Fandom: Thor, Loki (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage, Dubcon
Pairings: Loki/Sylvie
Characters: Loki, Sylvie, Thor, Angela, Odin, Frigga

Summary: After Bor’s death, the entire family manage to make it into town for the will reading. It’s only been a few months since Loki had a close call with a car accident he probably should not have survived, which only adds to the tension of having too many people in a house with not enough beds.

But the funny thing about death is it has a way of unveiling all sorts of secrets, whether or not they have anything to do with the deceased. And for Loki and Sylvie, this has the potential to be catastrophic.

Note: This fic is being posted as a kinkmeme fill.  It may get edited at a later date.

AO3 | Website

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Ours to Keep #7

Ours to Keep (Word Count TBD) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 7/?
Fandom: Thor, Loki (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage, Dubcon
Pairings: Loki/Sylvie
Characters: Loki, Sylvie, Thor, Angela, Odin, Frigga

Summary: After Bor’s death, the entire family manage to make it into town for the will reading. It’s only been a few months since Loki had a close call with a car accident he probably should not have survived, which only adds to the tension of having too many people in a house with not enough beds.

But the funny thing about death is it has a way of unveiling all sorts of secrets, whether or not they have anything to do with the deceased. And for Loki and Sylvie, this has the potential to be catastrophic.

Note: This fic is being posted as a kinkmeme fill.  It may get edited at a later date.

AO3 | Website

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Ours to Keep #6

Ours to Keep (Word Count TBD) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 6/?
Fandom: Thor, Loki (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage, Dubcon
Pairings: Loki/Sylvie
Characters: Loki, Sylvie, Thor, Angela, Odin, Frigga

Summary: After Bor’s death, the entire family manage to make it into town for the will reading. It’s only been a few months since Loki had a close call with a car accident he probably should not have survived, which only adds to the tension of having too many people in a house with not enough beds.

But the funny thing about death is it has a way of unveiling all sorts of secrets, whether or not they have anything to do with the deceased. And for Loki and Sylvie, this has the potential to be catastrophic.

Note: This fic is being posted as a kinkmeme fill.  It may get edited at a later date.

AO3 | Website

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Ours to Keep #5

Ours to Keep (Word Count TBD) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 5/?
Fandom: Thor, Loki (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage, Dubcon
Pairings: Loki/Sylvie
Characters: Loki, Sylvie, Thor, Angela, Odin, Frigga

Summary: After Bor’s death, the entire family manage to make it into town for the will reading. It’s only been a few months since Loki had a close call with a car accident he probably should not have survived, which only adds to the tension of having too many people in a house with not enough beds.

But the funny thing about death is it has a way of unveiling all sorts of secrets, whether or not they have anything to do with the deceased. And for Loki and Sylvie, this has the potential to be catastrophic.

Note: This fic is being posted as a kinkmeme fill.  It may get edited at a later date.

AO3 | Website

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Ours to Keep #4

Ours to Keep (Word Count TBD) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 4/?
Fandom: Thor, Loki (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage, Dubcon
Pairings: Loki/Sylvie
Characters: Loki, Sylvie, Thor, Angela, Odin, Frigga

Summary: After Bor’s death, the entire family manage to make it into town for the will reading. It’s only been a few months since Loki had a close call with a car accident he probably should not have survived, which only adds to the tension of having too many people in a house with not enough beds.

But the funny thing about death is it has a way of unveiling all sorts of secrets, whether or not they have anything to do with the deceased. And for Loki and Sylvie, this has the potential to be catastrophic.

Note: This fic is being posted as a kinkmeme fill.  It may get edited at a later date.

AO3 | Website

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Notes | Ours to Keep 1-3

Folks are starting to pick up on some of the weirdness going on in Ours to Keep, so I wanted to talk about it with a bit more room than I’d have in a few tweets.  Also, there are some minor spoilers, and if you squint and read between the lines in a few places, a couple of big spoilers.  So be warned.

The summary on this fic talks about secrets getting out, whether or not they belong to the dead, and by now there are a lot of secrets going around.  Some are getting out, while some are still bubbling to the surface, but it’s really only a matter of time before this whole mess explodes.  I said on Twitter the other day that chapter 3 establishes two different things that are not necessarily mutually exclusive:

  1. Odin and Frigga have exhausted their ability to trust and be patient with Loki
  2. All of Loki’s adult siblings like one another more than they like their parents

I don’t think I worded it quite like that, but idk how to search Twitter to get my exact phrasing.  But those two things are established in how the kids will turn on a dime from shittalking and arguing with one another to ride or die into hell together.  Angela’s performative(?) disgust with Loki and Sylvie doesn’t matter once Odin shows up to break up their fun.  They’re also at ages where it’s a little bit difficult to get across the differences between them, without just outright stating, “Angela is 35 years old” or whatever, because once a person reaches a certain level of adulthood they’ve pretty much settled.  I’ve always found age gaps between kids much easier to illustrate that way as a result.  Aside from Sylvie’s line about there being a big gap between Thor and Angela, and Roger making reference to having already moved out by the time Loki and Sylvie were in high school, it’s all very vague.

Not that it really matters, but here are the age differences between what has become the core group of delinquents at the centre of this story:

  • There is an eleven-year gap between Angela and Thor, with several other kids in between them (Hela, Tyr, and Roger).
  • There is enough of a difference between Sylvie and Loki that her birthday is actually the day before his; something he is still teased about, re: being the baby brother, despite having three brothers younger than him (Hermod, Balder, and Vidar).
  • There is a four-year gap between Roger and Thor, and he was adopted when he was in middle school (unlike the twins, who were adopted at birth). 
  • There is a six-month gap between Thor and the twins.
  • Laussa is about 18 months.  I thought about ageing her up, but the hilarity of people in their 20s and 30s having an infant sister was too much to pass up, and also helps say a lot about where Odin and Frigga’s priorities seem to lie.

Figuring out the ages of these characters in particular was necessary because it helps establish why their relationship is the way it is.  Thor is particularly close with the twins (and especially Loki) because they’re practically triplets.  And yet, he’s not actually one of them so he’s still kept at arm’s length about some things.  Obviously nobody knows about what Loki and Sylvie get up to, and it needs to stay that way.  And obviously it’s not going to, because one of these motherfuckers is going to find out.  (Let’s be real, it’s a story about secrets getting out and was part of the prompt; this is not much of a spoiler.)

So with all of that laid out, let’s start talking about the things people have begun to notice.  Particularly with how weird the interludes are.  And I’m so glad those interludes are starting to make people take a step back and ask questions, because if I’ve done this right, on a second read, these interludes will hit completely different.  Several people have made about half a connection between what happened in the chapter 3 interlude, and the chapter 1 scene between Loki and Sylvie.  There is a very real connection, and the people who have seen it are all asking the right questions.  What changed? 

In the chapter 3 interlude, Loki is not only hesitant; he’s outright uncomfortable.  He was able to justify things a bit easier when they’d used their hands on one another, but Sylvie telling him to get on top of her crossed a line for him and he’s having a hard time reconciling it.  He puts up what seems to be a token resistance, but as soon as she touches him, he gives up.  He lets her take control, and her control eventually emboldens him to do things that have probably been in the back of his mind for a while.  There’s a line that states he’s noticed her chest in the past, but never like that.  What it doesn’t state is that he had the perfectly reasonable “ew, my sister’s body.  gross” reaction that might have been more appropriate.

Utterly unrelated, but also very related, this was one of my favourite things about Allison and Luther in the Umbrella Academy.  Even though all of the kids were adopted, they still had that visceral reaction about the relationship.  But the fact that Sylvie and Loki are still related by blood, despite being adopted, lives in the back of Loki’s mind, I think.  She is the only “real” sibling he has, although I don’t think even they think in such terms honestly.  There’s a scene coming up in the next chapter where there are about six openings for him to throw that in Thor’s face, and not once did it feel right to have him do it.  Thor is his brother exactly the same way Sylvie is his sister.  Now, whether Sylvie being his only blood relation has played into this relationship of theirs on a subconscious level, I think that is up for debate.  But it could very easily be argued that Loki knows she’s the closest connection to anything he will ever have, and that’s why everything was able to get so far out of hand.

More likely, as others picked up on, Loki was in a vulnerable position, and Sylvie was willing to push his boundaries.  Perhaps first out of curiosity, but Loki does wonder if she’s been curious for longer than he’d realised.  I think, at the time of the chapter 1 interlude, Sylvie is aware that Loki is a bit of a “late bloomer,” having never dated, and has probably picked up on a bit of resentment toward her own boyfriend/s.  I also don’t think she’s necessarily a virgin.  She says she’s never seen “one hard” before, and maybe that’s true and all she’s done is some heavy petting and dry humping.  Or maybe it’s a convenient lie to get Loki to lower his guard a bit (I don’t believe in having characters always speak the truth.  Humans lie and misrepresent truths.  So should characters).  But the show-you-mine, show-me-yours play between them isn’t exactly innocent here.  Either way, I think the reality is that she is a hormonal 15 year old girl making bad choices she can’t take back.  Whether she’s intentionally grooming Loki or not, again I’m not sure.  I waffled on even adding a tag for it, because whatever’s going on between them is definitely grooming-adjacent, but it also doesn’t feel right to call it that.  Either way, the consent has been dubious at best, and in the case of chapter 3, was straight up non-existent for a few minutes.  He told her he needed to study, and she barged in anyway and shoved her hand down his pants.  I’ve always liked playing with consent issues like this, because even though he didn’t say no with his mouth, the “no” was implied.  But it’s also a nuance that a fifteen year old might not be able to fully grasp, especially in a culture of “only no means no.”  After all, he was already hard, so clearly he wanted it.  Right?

When I went into this, I didn’t expect Sylvie to be a talker during sex.  It just kind of happened as a natural progression of that first scene of them together.  Loki initiated that encounter, but they didn’t have sex until he grovelled for a bit first.  She got upset with him over the wreck, and he went and threw a super adult and mature tantrum over it.  Then he went into her room and basically begged forgiveness before she rolled over for him.  People have noticed in the interludes that she’s kind of telling on herself, using manipulative language when she wants him to play along.  And she still does that now, in the present scenes.  Loki gets off on her praise.  It was subtle in that first chapter, but the thing that he gets off to is making sure Sylvie is pleased with him.  It’s a pattern that starts to form in the chapter 2 interlude, where even though Loki goes into her room, his bigger concern is making sure he does things how she wants so he doesn’t get kicked out.  When she barges in on him in chapter 3, she does so aware of this.  She noticed.  And that’s why she starts saying the things she does when she’s on top of him.  By giving him praise and the responsibility for her pleasure, knowing that he’s likely a bit starved for both, she can keep him wanting more, and she can fill a dry spell until she finds a boyfriend who isn’t so coy. 

The problem is she’s fifteen, and in lacking nuance and finesse, goes too far.  She has put this seed into his head that they’re made for one another, and affection-starved Loki is going to take that to its logical conclusion.

A couple of people have pointed out that the best thing for present-day Loki would be to move out.  The question has also been raised about why Sylvie moved out, and not Loki.  But Sylvie already answered that question: one of them had to, and it was never going to be him.  Loki is a grown man who throws temper tantrums and skips dinner because his brother said mean things to him.  He seems incapable of maintaining adult relationships, and is evasive over their failure.  He lives in a bedroom so small it can’t fit anything bigger than a twin-sized bed, while all of his other adult siblings fled as soon as they were able.  He spends his money on drugs and the sort of cars a teenager puts poster of up on his walls, while having zero expenses otherwise.  Frigga and Odin pay for his insurance.  Odin paid off a judge for him, and now he’s treated like a child who can’t be trusted to be in charge of his own medication.

Of course Loki hasn’t moved out.  He has not matured past fifteen years old, and has been enabled in this arrest.

It takes Roger, who is implied to have moved a bit further away than the rest, to come back and see this situation with fresh eyes to realise everything is fucked up beyond reason.  Thor and Angela and Sylvie are still close enough to have not seen the problem developing, because it happened slowly over the course of almost a decade.  Roger was already moved out by the time things with Sylvie started getting weird, and probably only sees most of the family for Christmas and maybe a week over the summer.  And now Loki’s wreck has exacerbated everything, and made the problems stand out like a neon sign.  Somehow, Loki walked away from something that should have killed him, and Angela is right.  If it had been anyone else, they’d have been on their own.  But Loki has always been slow to develop and mature, and now he’s 24 years old and Odin is still cleaning up his messes.

And I don’t think Odin and Frigga are necessarily being abusive here.  Not in a true definition of the word.  If anything, they’re enabling him.  They’re afraid that he’s going to kill himself, either directly or as a consequence of his drug habit, and the only way they know how to protect him from that is to basically tie him down so he doesn’t hurt himself.  He’s already suffering from severely stunted maturity and unable to perform even the most basic self-care at times, and they’ve taken away what little agency he might have had left.  It wasn’t out of malice or ill-intent, but the opposite.  And in fact, Loki feed off it.  He doesn’t have to have responsibilities, and can continue to be fifteen forever.  He can’t be trusted to take care of himself, so he’s not allowed to even try.  And deep down, he loves it.  That’s why he doesn’t fight it, when he’ll throw down with his uncle at a moment’s notice.  And because they’ve been taking care of him his entire life, nobody’s noticed how bad it’s got until now.

And if the name Johnny Gossamer means anything to you, keep him in mind.  That’s all I’ll say about that.

And another little detail that I have in my mind and which will probably not make it into the narrative at all is that with the exception of Roger (for obvious reasons) all of the kids have Norse names by birth.  I don’t know what Sylvie’s is, but the fact that there are two characters in canon (both comics and the MCU) who go by Anglophone names instead of their given names was delightful because I was able to very neatly sidestep the fact that Sylvie stands out like this.  This is a large reason Angela is a main character.  She is convenient in having an Anglo name, but also her acidic personality and weird relationship with Loki in the comics made her the perfect foil for all of this.  She’s the firstborn, so she got out of this nightmare first, changed her name to something easier to pronounce, and is living her best life in the city.  I think Sylvie probably changed her name around middle school, whether legally or not, and just refuses to acknowledge whatever name she was given at birth.  A whiff of this does come out in the end, but I was never able to fully make it work for the simple reason that obviously she was not called Loki at birth in this universe, and I just didn’t want to give her another name that she doesn’t even use.  So yeah.  Sylvie and Angela changed their names, and I think sometimes Roger calls himself Thor just to be a pain in the dick about it.

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Starve to Death with Dignity #2

Starve to Death with Dignity (Word Count TBD) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 2/?
Fandom: Thor
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Violence
Pairings: Loki/Freyja, Loki/Sif, Loki/Fandral, Loki/Others
Characters: Loki, Thor, Freyja, Odin, Sif, Fandral

Summary: Loki doesn’t know what’s worse: the measures he has to take so he doesn’t rut himself to death, or the fact that rutting himself to death seems like an acceptable option.

AO3 | Newsletter

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Ours to Keep #3

Ours to Keep (Word Count TBD) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 3/?
Fandom: Thor, Loki (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage, Dubcon
Pairings: Loki/Sylvie
Characters: Loki, Sylvie, Thor, Angela, Odin, Frigga

Summary: After Bor’s death, the entire family manage to make it into town for the will reading. It’s only been a few months since Loki had a close call with a car accident he probably should not have survived, which only adds to the tension of having too many people in a house with not enough beds.

But the funny thing about death is it has a way of unveiling all sorts of secrets, whether or not they have anything to do with the deceased. And for Loki and Sylvie, this has the potential to be catastrophic.

Note: This fic is being posted as a kinkmeme fill.  It may get edited at a later date.

AO3 | Website

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Sins of the Flesh

Sins of the Flesh (7,727 words) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Thor
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Pairings: Loki/Tentacles
Characters: Loki

Summary: Loki finds a new pet.

And then the new pet finds Loki

AO3 | Website

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I’m going to do something I don’t normally do

Like many people, I woke up and immediately got angry today.  And then I logged into Tiltify and set up a fund raising team for several sex and reproductive health charities.

And I’m gonna do something with it that I don’t normally do.  If you donate $25 or more, you can email me your receipt and I will write you a short fic (~2,000 words).  Donating more will get you a longer fic.  I have only a few caveats to what I will not write.

  • No extreme underage—anything younger than high school aged
  • Bodily fluids are a grey area, and may get turned down
  • Must be for fandom I know.  I don’t have time to watch a new TV show

Fandoms I have written for include the following:

This is not an exhaustive list, and only includes what’s been uploaded and properly tagged here on my site.  You can ask about others that aren’t on this list, but again, if I have not seen or read it, I’m going to have to decline.

Price ladder:

  • $25 – 2,000 words
  • $35 – 5,000 words
  • $50 – 10,000 words
  • $75 – 20,000 words
  • $100 – 35,000 words
  • $100+ – Negotiable

Keep in mind, writing is a slower process than art.  It will take me a while to get through everything if I have a lot of responses to this.  Smaller fics will get prioritised so I can get them out more quickly, while longer fics will get the care and attention they need.

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Finally updated my art galleries

I kinda forgot about them there, for a while, but I think I have everything moved over there?  I’ve also added a new one for old art, so I can yeet stuff I don’t like anymore, without actually deleting it.  I expect to move stuff over there fairly frequently, as I do more fic headers.

My plan for the fic headers is to get comfortable enough with them that I can eventually go back and re-do the ones I’m not super pleased with.  But for now, the priority is just getting headers up.  I’ve been finding them a lot easier lately, since finding some new brushes for Procreate.  I think the problem I’ve been having with my art is not liking when my lines weren’t quite where I wanted them, because the hard, smooth edges I was using would really call out when something was wonky.  I found some brushes that simulate more of a dry brush look, which makes doing broad strokes a lot easier since it’s already jagged and kind of wonky.

Here’s a header I finished today.

This one is for Ours to Keep.  There’s still a bit of wonkiness to it as I gain my confidence back at all, but I think it’s one of the best I’ve done so far.  I’ve never in my life been able to completely finish a full piece in just a few hours though.  With these new brushes, it’s got so much easier.  I also find myself using far fewer layers than I did in the past, probably because I wind up not having to use five or six layers for just the lineart alone.  Normally, I’d put each character on separate layers, and often use two or three layers for each character so I could overlap lines and erase bits, etc.  This one used two layers for lineart.  One for the actual lines, and then a second one to experiment with the dark shadowy bits.  I want to get a lot more comfortable with that style, using black to kind of fill in shadow areas.  It’s tough for me, but I love the style when it’s done right.

Related, I have been very slowly uploading older fic, and just leaving it untagged for now.  I also nearly have all of the newsletter archives uploaded, and will probably finish those tomorrow.  They’re just kind of a pain in the ass, and I don’t like doing them.  Eventually, once I have all of my fic uploaded, I do want to go back and not only get it all tagged, but do headers for everything.  All 300 or whatever of them.  It’s a slow process that’s going to take a lot of time, but it gives me something to do on days when I don’t really want to sit down and write.

Up next, I think So Good for Me will be the next one to get a header.  If I can figure out what I want the header to be.

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Twitter is imploding, and new Newsletter home

Oh god, oh no, oh fuck.

… Nah, I’ve done this before.  Many, many times.  Which is why I have my own site in the first place.

In case you didn’t know, Rocket Boy is apparently buying Twitter.  And oh god, people are not happy.  Which, yeah.  Fair.  This is a terrible decision, but ultimately I low key hope Elon burns Twitter to the ground.  Or at least gets the Tumblr treatment, where he loses $43B and Twitter falls into borderline obscurity.  I’d be happy either way.

I’ve been watching my timeline scatter like dandelion seeds in the wind, but there are very few platforms I’d actually want to go to.  A lot of people are talking about Discord, and if that winds up being the majority choice, I am officially too old for fandom.  I am in two servers already and I can’t even keep up with those.  Fuck Tumblr, and Pillowfort has rubbed me the wrong way since day 1.

But that’s why I’ve got this place.  It’s nice here.  Quiet.

Which brings me to the other thing about Twitter melting down today: my newsletter is moving.  This Saturday’s issue is going to be a short one, just letting people know that there are changes.  I don’t want to spring it on people with no warning, and risk losing chapters to the void because people are unprepared.  I’ve wanted to switch providers for a while, and I have finally found a way to host it from here here on my site!  The new emails will look very similar to my blog posts in term of styling, and archives will automatically be backed up to a page here.

Archives have always been my biggest issue with Revue, right up there with the overall content of my newsletters.  I didn’t want my fic permanently available on some normie website, and trying to back the issues up here was becoming nightmarish.  But now that the newsletter is fully hosted and managed by my site (or will be, shortly), I don’t have these same reservations.  I don’t feel icky about sending weird shit directly over email.  I don’t feel icky about letting my archives just exist out in the public, because it’s a ten-second process to password lock or remove the page.

If you’re already signed up to the newsletter, you don’t need to do anything.  The subscriber list has already been moved over and is ready to go.  Any stragglers that come in between now and then will be added over as well.  But if you do decide to sign up, I’d suggest using the new form, which combines both newsletters into a single sign up.

Also, I changed my icon.  I’m trying to get away from using comic scans for my images, and figured I should use something evocative, but not blatantly Marvel.

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Starve to Death with Dignity

Starve to Death with Dignity (Word Count TBD) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 1/?
Fandom: Thor
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Violence
Pairings: Loki/Freyja, Loki/Sif, Loki/Fandral, Loki/Others
Characters: Loki, Thor, Freyja, Odin, Sif, Fandral

Summary: Loki doesn’t know what’s worse: the measures he has to take so he doesn’t rut himself to death, or the fact that rutting himself to death seems like an acceptable option.

Note: This is an early draft.  It has not been edited, and has barely been spellchecked.  It will be edited at a later date before being posted to AO3.

AO3 | Website

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What I Wrote Last Night (also a test post)

I’m mostly trying to see what happens if I do a thing.  But also here’s something from a new thing I’ve been working on.


He worked for hours, compiling a report on Álfar magic, and where Asgardian defenses lacked against it.  This was the work he was supposed to be doing.  This was the work he had spent years training and studying for.  Twice as he worked, he caught a scent in the air, but with something meaningful in front of him, the urge to get his work done overpowered his drive to let a tickle become a problem.  He simply used his potion again and got on with it.  By the time he finished, the sky had darkened, and supper had come and gone.  Knowing he could have something sent up to him, Loki rolled all the parchment sheets together and got up to find Odin.  At a certain point in the evening, banquet always seemed to transition to an impromptu mead hall, where half the palace gathered.  Loki stopped to peer inside, just in case Odin still lingered, but it wasn’t Odin he saw.  He caught Thor’s eye, and for a moment they both stared at one another.  Then, Thor was on his feet and striding toward Loki with murder in his eyes.

“What the hel are you doing?” he asked, grabbing hold of Loki.

“I’ve been released.  Don’t touch me,” he said, trying to shake himself free.

Thor held on even tighter.  “I’d like to hear that from Father,” he said, already dragging him away.

“Oh, convenient,” said Loki.  He shifted his scrolls to the other hand so Thor didn’t accidentally crush them.  “That’s just who I was trying to find.”

He let himself be dragged through the corridors to Odin’s hall, playing up a stumble as Thor pulled him through the threshold.

“Did you forget to tell my jailer I’ve been freed?” Loki asked, finally shaking Thor off of him.

Odin looked up at the scene before him, wearing the most fake expression of surprise Loki had ever seen.

“It must have slipped my mind,” he said.

Both Loki and Thor took a moment to just let that hang in the air.

“And people wonder where I get it,” Loki said, stepping forward and holding up his scrolls.  “The Álfheimr report.”

He put them down on the table before Odin.  Nodding, Odin reached for it and unfurled them, letting each sheet fall to table.

“Very good,” he said, looking the top sheet over.  After a moment, he put it down and looked up at Thor.  “You had better go pack.”

Thor threw his hands into the air and turned away, leaving Odin and Loki alone.  Loki watched him stride away, waiting until he was out of earshot before turning to close the door.

“We have a few gaps in our defenses, but nothing terribly frightening,” Loki said.  “Since it’s Álfheimr we’re talking about, I think we can safely disregard everything on page four.  They theoretically have those capabilities, but their own law forbids the teaching or practise of any of it.”

Odin shuffled through the parchment until he came to the correct page.

“I see,” he said.  “And your recommendation?”

“Offer Jarldom to expatriated elves who enlist and prove proficiency,” Loki said.  “We still have large tracts of land in the south that remain unworked.  It would fill the gaps in our ranks, and show a willingness on our part to allow social mobility to outsiders.”

Odin gathered up all of sheets of parchment and stacked them neatly.  “Good,” he said, looking up at Loki directly.  “It’s good to have you back.  It’s been far too long that I’ve had to listen to a bunch of half-senile old fools confuse me for my father and call it intelligence.”

Loki allowed himself a brief chuckled.  “I didn’t ask to listen to requests.  That was your idea.”

“Yes, yes.  You’ve said that already,” Odin said, waving Loki away.

Loki threw as much sarcasm as he could into bowing before turning to go find some way to spend the rest of his evening.  He got no further than turning the first corner before Thor ambushed him, grabbing him by the neck and holding him against the wall, holding him just tightly enough to be a threat.

“If it were up to me, you’d never be allowed out for as long as you live,” Thor said.

Loki took a moment to consider him.

“Then it’s a good thing it’s not up to you, isn’t it?” he said.

“I regret every day not telling him,” Thor said.  “You don’t deserve this.  I want nothing more than to be wrong about you, but I know that I’m not.”

Loki breathed deeply, knowing that any defense he made would only further drive Thor’s outrage.

“I’ll let you swing the axe yourself, if you’d like” Loki said.  “But I think I’d rather go to bed.”

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What I wrote last night | Isla Nublar #14

Finally, she sighed, knowing there was nothing to do but move forward.  Except she couldn’t even do that, because they were still stuck in the same unmoving line.

“What in the fuck did we pay an extra two grand for?” she asked, looking at the crowd.

She said it a bit too loudly, judging by the amount of people nearby who snorted and groaned as well.

“I’m sorry, what?” Loki said.  He stepped aside to look at her, mirroring her own indignation back at her.

Darcy nodded.  “Uh-huh!” she said.  “Fifty bucks a day.  Four people.  Ten days.  And that’s on top of the regular park admission.”

She thought Loki was going to choke, and wouldn’t have blamed him if he did.  He looked up over the crowd, jaw slack as he stood tall over everyone else.

“All of these people,” he said finally, “Paid fifty dollars a day to stand here in the mud?”

Despite everything, Darcy laughed.  “Yep,” she said.

Loki’s attention shifted over to the much larger crowd in the other line, and then back at everyone beyond them, and shook his head. 

“There’s no way,” he said.  “Half these people won’t even make it to the front.”

He stepped over to the fence separating the two lines and climbed onto the lower rung, balancing on it as he looked out farther beyond the crowd in front of them.

“What do your elf eyes see?” Darcy asked.

“Money laundering,” Loki said.

He stepped back down onto the ground and took his spot behind Darcy again.

“How many times have we seen that little thing outside the hotel?” Loki asked, still paying more attention to the crowd.

“That one that keeps getting out?” Darcy asked.  She shrugged.  “I dunno.  Twice?”

“That thing had a decent enclosure, right?” Loki asked.  “And it still gets out.  Somehow.”

“Yeah?” Darcy asked.  “What about it?”

Loki nodded toward the fence, but it wasn’t immediately clear what he wanted.  Then, he nudged her toward it, and she understood.  She stepped onto it, surprised when Loki grabbed her by the waist to balance her as she stood up.  She didn’t dare stand as straight and tall as he had, no matter how effortless he’d made it seem, but she didn’t need to.  She saw it anyway.  The flimsy little fence separating the crowd from the open field where they let people ride around in hamster balls alongside triceratops and stegosaurses.  She should even see a few in the distance, with no other barrier between them.

Suddenly eager to have her feet back on solid ground, she leaned back and trusted Loki to help her back to her feet.  Other people around them started climbing onto the fence as well to peer ahead, but she didn’t care about that for the moment.  It was the crowd as a whole, surrounding them on all sides, that she cared about, and the twisting, winding path that was wound in such a way to allow for a longer line within the space between the monorail platform and the ride entrance.  She looked around not at the crowd around them, but at the space they had been shoved into.

“Well, this is terrifying,” she said suddenly.

All she could think about was an angry dinosaur crashing through the fence and causing a stampede.

“What do you think the building code is like in Costa Rica?” Darcy said.

“I’ll bet you fifty bucks it’s blocked by their firewall,” Loki said.

Darcy wasn’t even going to take that bet.  She knew he was right. 

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Going somewhat dark

In case you missed it, or just weren’t sure what’s going on with my fic, the post that went up early this morning will be the last one that goes up for a while.

Doing my Unus Annus challenge was a failure, in that I did not complete the entire year.  I got about three months in, when I decided I was kind of done posting fic super publicly.  In that regard, I do consider UA a success, because I learned something important from it.

You can read more about it here.

But today pretty much marks the point where I will be switching over to sharing my fic much more privately going forward.  As of today, all of my fics on AO3 are archive locked, and any fic that has been rewritten or reworked has been added to an unrevealed collection.  It’s all still on AO3, but I don’t want it seen.  I do not wish to be perceived, basically.

It’s all still available openly on my website, where I have a little bit more control.  If you would absolutely prefer to read on AO3, I do have some invites available.  But I’m not going to be posting to AO3 again for quite some time, because I will no longer be posting WIPs there.  Instead, WIPs are going to be sent out via my newsletter.  I will not be archiving fic on my site or AO3 until after the fic has been completed (or the arc, in the case of God of Outcasts).  What I have not decided on is whether I should post completed fics to AO3 all at once, or spread them out by posting chapters on a schedule.  I’m really leaning toward all at once.

On Saturday, I’ll be sending out a Tales of Yggdrasil interlude, and then launching into finishing Isla Nublar the following week.  This is going to be the last time I really promote this, other than the automatic posts Twitter does.  If you want to read fic, that’s how to do it, unless you want to wait until everything is finished, edited, and posted somewhat publicly.

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FIC: God of Outcasts #31 – Disappearance

Loki: God of Outcasts (133,656 words) by LokiOfSassgaard

Chapters: 31/?
Fandom: Thor (Movies), Thor (Comics)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Relationships: Fandral/Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel)/Other(s)
Characters: Loki (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Odin (Marvel), Laufey (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja (Marvel), Sif (Marvel), Hogun (Marvel), Fandral (Marvel), Volstagg (Marvel), Original Characters, Old Loki
Additional Tags: Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Alternate Universe – Canon Divergence, What-If, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-typical language, Don’t Have to Know Canon, Worldbuilding, Marvel Norse Lore, Thor is a Good Bro (Marvel), Loki is a Good Bro (Marvel), Good Loki (Marvel), Period Typical Attitudes, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki Does What Loki Wants (Marvel), Odin’s Good Parenting (Marvel), Sneaky Frigga (Marvel), Miðgarðr | Midgard, Asgard (Marvel), Jötunheimr | Jotunheim, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Canon, Odin’s A+ Parenting (Marvel), Long, Mostly Gen, Background Relationships, Background Het, Background Slash, Mystery, Canon Blending, Timeline Shenanigans, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Loki Needs a Hug (Marvel), POV Loki (Marvel), POV Thor (Marvel), Thor is Not Stupid (Marvel), Protective Thor (Marvel), POV Multiple, Multiple Universes Colliding, Bullying, Mental Health Issues, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Id Fic, Frigga’s B- Parenting (Marvel)
Series: Part 1 of Unus Annus 2022

Summary: What if one decision over 1000 years ago was made differently? Rather than being fed lies and made an unwilling party to them, the narrative changes and Loki is raised knowing he is Jötunn. But Asgard is no place for an abandoned Jötunn runt.

AU in which Odin is mostly-honest, Thor is still a spoilt brat, and Loki still deserves a smack in the mouth. Or, that time the MCU was inhabited by the comic versions of Thor and Loki.

AO3 | Website

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Notes | God of Outcasts #31: Disappearance

Chapter notes for Disappearance

This is the final chapter of the arc.  If you read the original version, you’ll notice it now ends about halfway through what was Those Who Hunt Monsters.  So much new was added that the arc was shaping up to be about 300,000 words before it finally reached the end, and I don’t want that.  TWHM also spans a lot of time.   About 900 or so years originally, which is a lot.  It still spans about 700 years as it is, but those last 200 got real packed, and still may get broken up again.  The second half is where I really chickened out on what to include and what to allude to. All of those allusions and subtexts are going to be text this time around.

TWHM was always meant to just be exposition, and that’s still what it is.  I always said that I cut a lot out so it didn’t wind up being an ungodly amount of exposition, and now that’s exactly what it is.  Everything relevant has been set up and established.  But going forward, things pick up and become much more compacted.  There are fewer gaps in the narrative, and all of those things that were established earlier are going to start paying off.

So let’s talk about the chapter itself.  One thing I still have not been able to pull off quite as well as I wanted to is widening up the POV, which is why this chapter is entirely from Thor’s perspective.  I toyed with doing this one from Odin’s perspective, and that chapter is now in my purgatory folder to be cannibalised for later because there was a really good conversation with him and Frigga that I need to include somewhere.  But I switched it to Thor because I thought he had the better story here.  One thing I always love about Thor is how awkward he gets when he’s caught wrong-footed.  He’s bad at surprises, and this whole chapter is just a string of them for him.  He learns that he doesn’t know a damn thing about his own brother, and that Odin makes a habit out of keeping him in the dark on important topics. 

It’s also a moment for him to spend time with Hogun, who we find out is kind of his cousin.  But as Loki pointed out a few chapters back, the family tree is more of a bramble in many regards.  Bragi being Thor’s uncle is probably the least surprising thing that’s happened recently.  Thor doesn’t really understand Hogun, and he can’t figure out why Loki hangs out with him, but Hogun is the closest thing he has to a lead in this.  He also learns a little more about Fandral in this, though he doesn’t have enough context to put two and two together.

Making Fandral an absolute nobody was done to play with Asgard’s social mobility.  And then I never really paid it off properly the first time around.  So this time, I’m taking my time with it.  Thor knew Fandral was an absolute nobody, but I think up until this point, Thor thought he was at least someone who had a modicum of social standing.  Instead, he finds Fandral out there working at the docks, getting shouted at for daring to talk to the Crown Prince.  And even this does not go as Thor expects, because he’s used to getting a certain amount of respect.  He’s used to people bowing and scraping before him, so when that doesn’t happen, he has no idea how to respond.  He’s always thought that Fandral is taking advantage of Loki, but at least Fandral respects Loki’s position.

But my favourite Thor is one who isn’t necessarily stupid, but can sometimes come across as such because he puts his feelings before his ability to lead.  And he’s very much doing that here.  He’s trying to protect Loki from getting into trouble, even at Loki’s expense.  He tells Heimdall exactly how Loki gets to Jötunheimr, but only gives Odin the vaguest of details.  It would be faster to just tell Odin the truth, but telling Odin the truth would lead to Loki’s hidden cache, and Thor doesn’t want to risk that.  Even though he should.

Meanwhile, we’ve been introduced to a couple more of Loki’s friends, who didn’t get introduced until a bit later originally.  Vali and Alv show up here, acting as one more indication that Thor knows absolutely nothing about Loki and what he gets up to.  Thor has no idea who these kids are, and it becomes clear that Alv even seems to know something about Loki that Thor does not.  And like Fandral, Alv doesn’t seem to view Loki as someone above him in status.  These weirdos that Loki hangs out with see him as one of them, more than anything else.  Already, Loki is setting himself up as a prince in name only.  And Thor doesn’t like this.


Since it’s the end of the arc, this seems like a good time to update the family tree, which I shared a few months back.  Not a whole lot has changed, but between arcs seems like a good time to update and refresh stuff.  Next arc, we’re going to be introduced to a few new characters, so I wanted to go ahead and take a moment to solidify what’s already known.

As before, it’s been split up a bit to make it a little easier to follow.

Just going down the tree, we know that Odin’s mother (Bestla) was a frost giant.  Which means that through a trail even more convoluted than Loki realises, he’s a distant cousin to Thor.

Cul is (as far as we know) dead, Vili has some unknown baby mama, and Vé has run off to marry an elf princess.

But then it branches off with Frigga.  We know that she and Iri are cousins.  This has been established in an earlier chapter.  We also know, from an earlier chapter, that Iri’s uncle—not his father—was the previous king of Vanaheimr.  The same uncle who sent Frigga off to marry Odin at the end of the war.  Before the war, Bragi was in line to be king, making him Frigga’s brother.

Bragi is not Hogun’s father by birth.  He married Hogun’s mother.  Technically that still makes Hogun a cousin of Thor and Loki’s, but with Bragi more or less being a prisoner of war, Hogun is basically nobody.  Actually, not being Vanir gives Hogun a bit more freedom to fuck around and do as he pleases.

Some of this comes from trying to make sense of the actual Norse family tree, and some comes from trying to make sense of the family tree as Marvel presents it.  Marvel has conflated a couple of characters and changed their roles (mainly, I suspect, to avoid all the incest).  Meanwhile, I feel like the incest is a feature of European Polytheism, and not a bug, so I’ve tried to put everything into place in a way to satisfy both the myths, and Marvel.  I added Hogun into this mess because he does have a fairly mysterious backstory, and I wanted to present that backstory in a way that just fits in a little bit better with a xenophobic and imperialistic Asgard.

The Vanir section of this family tree is a fucking circle, and I cannot wait to show you more of it when we get there.  But man, just imagine being 12 years old, and having to memorise this mess for your future role in politics.

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