I have no idea what I'm doing

Tag: fic: Superhero RPF

Superhero RPF #7

Sassgardian
Hey, got a minute?

Or not. Okay. That’s fine too.


WitchDude asked LokiOfAsgard a question:

So what was up with Kate? She said you paid her just to spend all night in some warehouse.

     LokiOfAsgard replied: I found out who our mystery cape is. Which was what I’d been hoping to do, so in that regard, the mission was a complete success.

WitchDude asked LokiOfAsgard a question:

I’ve known you long enough to know how to read between your lines. What really happened?

     LokiOfAsgard replied: In finding out, I may have irreparably damaged one of the few honest friendships I have. Turns out, a lot of Midgardians are Anti-Loki. Who knew?


BEEEEEEEEEEEEEES – FFA Post #204

Cape Swap!
Anonymous
Fics and authors have all been revealed! What did you get, nonnies? If you didn’t participate, show me your favourites!

Anonymous
PlusFiveToBling wrote mine omg! Now I feel like the comment I left on the fic isn’t worthy.

Anonymous
Nonnie, I’m sure the comment you left was just fine

Anonymous
I wrote for her, and she loved it! I feel validated, meme!

Anonymous
The Cap/Iron Man one is really, insanely good.

Anonymous
Which one? There are two.

Anonymous
The one where Cap was brought back 20 years earlier. I haven’t read the post-apocalyptic one yet.

Anonymous
Sassgardian wrote mine. And it was really fucking good. 🙁

Anonymous
He wrote something for me too. I feel gross.

Anonymous
Same here. D:

Anonymous
🙁 Nonnie. They didn’t send out a pinch hit or anything?

Anonymous
They really should have sent out a pinch hit for you, nonnie.

Anonymous
I’m writing a treat right now

Anonymous
That is so sweet. I’m thinking about doing the same thing.

capeswap_mod
Hi, I know this community is supposed to be anonymous, but I’m posting logged in so there’s no doubt where this comment is coming from. Myself and my co-mods saw the Daily Bugle article the same time everyone else did. It happened at an awkward time for us, but the decision we made was one that had several hours of Skype conversations behind it.

Ultimately, we decided that since there is no concrete, physical evidence that Sassgardian is who people are speculating he is, there was nothing we could do. He completed his assignment on time, and even wrote a few treats. As far as the rules for the exchange go, Sassgardian is in good standing, and banning him based on a rumour would not be fair. It’s not usually in our policy to ban members from participation for activity that happens outside of the exchange, but the moderation team have all unanimously agreed that a circumstance like this, if proven true, would be grounds for immediate removal from the exchange. But as it stands, there is no proof. Nor will we accept submissions of proof without credible, documented sources. But we will not ban on rumour and speculation. In trying to be the people Captain America knows we can be, we will not punish someone for a crime we cannot prove they committed. I know this may be difficult for some people, but we felt that if we did ban him from participation, and were later shown to be wrong in that decision, the damage to reputation as a moderating team and as a long-standing fic exchange would be forever tarnished.

It was not an easy decision to make, but this is the decision we made, and we will all stand by it. If, in the future, Sassgardian does participate in another round, we can only do our best to make sure he continues to follow the rules of the exchange. So far, he has not caused any problems, and we would appreciate if that same respect were extended for the duration of this round. There have already been several comments left on his works, which we cannot do anything about, save report them to AO3’s abuse team. We do not, and have never required anyone to leave comments on fics in this exchange, and we ask now that unless you have something to say about the fic itself, to refrain from commenting on his submissions.

Thank you all for your understanding

Cape Swap Mod Team

Anonymous
No

Anonymous
I see where you’re coming from with this, but he really should be banned. Can you at least remove his fics from the collection?

Anonymous
+100000

Anonymous
How about we talk about some actual Cape Swap fic? Has anyone read through all of Swiftly Beating Heart yet?

Anonymous
No, I’m still about halfway through. How the hell does someone write 160,000 words in two months?

 


 

PlusFiveToBling

NotYourBarista

PlusFiveToBling
Read More

Aw man. Is that what’s been going on with you lately?

It feels like I’ve gone through a terrible break up. Or at least what I think a terrible break up would feel like. I don’t even know. It’s just terrible.

 


 

deconsecr8or

Sassgardian
AD&D night! With added gryphon for realism!

i really hate you sometimes

 


 

Kate
 

Why does it always rain whenever you have to sit outside watching someone for hours?

I know, right! What is that?

Does it rain in LA?

Only when I have to sit outside and watch someone for hours.

Maybe if I throw a rock at these people, something interesting will happen.

No, don’t throw a rock at them. You do not want that.

You threw the damn rock, didn’t you?


 

Bruuuuuuno
 

HELP!

What?

Kamala, what’s going on?

Supervillains and wannabe villains and omg

Kamala???

Where are you?

KAMALA

!!!!!


 

Capes. Anon. – Your friendly neighborhood splat

hxxp://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/88798.html?thread=38927429#32927492

Anonymous
I know we don’t talk about FFA here, but have you guys seen this? The Instagram link will seriously blow your mind.

TW: Loki

Anonymous
I am so confused. What the fuck is even going on anymore? Someone please explain this to me.

Anonymous
Are we certain this isn’t shopped?

Anonymous
He’s posted selfies with Thor before, which is part of the reason I’ve always been inclined to believe that Loki is just a really popular (and in his case, extremely unfortunate) Asgardian name.

Anonymous
ayrt

But how do we know none of those were shopped as well?

Anonymous
That is a lot of effort to put into something, even for a supervillain.

Anonymous
Yeah, echoing the other nonnies here. I’m pretty sure these are all legit.

Anonymous
I was on the fence for a while, until I found this: hxxps://vine.co/v/eLrttpE99IA3

Either he’s got the team behind Jurassic park filming his vines, or that is an honest to god dragon.

Anonymous
There were gryphons in a recent photoset he posted to Tumblr. I don’t think he’d have time to shop all this AND try to run the world at the same time, AND write novel-length fic, AND build flawless cosplays, AND get arrested with his friends for vandalism once a week, tbh.

Anonymous
I can’t believe people are buying this! This is exactly what he wants! Have you forgotten that!?

Anonymous
Nope, fuck him. He’s fucking vile and has no place being anywhere near decent people.

Anonymous
Is anyone going to comment on the fact that he was still, either way you look at it, writing literal self-insert fic about himself being awesome?

Anonymous
What do you mean was? For Asgardia just updated like ten minutes ago.

Anonymous
omg make him stop

Anonymous
NA

Yeah, I was pretty strongly against the Cape Swap mods’ decision to not ban him, and now I’m just confused.

Anonymous
SO. This is what I’ve got so far:

Sassgardian and LokiOfAsgard are both the same person. He’s from Asgard, which means he’s probably a magic user, which might explain how he went from 12 to drinking age in six months.

Daily Bugle gets a picture of Sassgardian doing something shady in New Jersey.

Loki is known to have been killed during the Siege of Asgard. There were dozens of eyewitnesses confirming the fact.

LokiOfAsgard joins the Young Avengers. It’s still unclear what was going on, but there are rumours that he started the thing they were fighting against. Conflicting stories say it might have been Wiccan who started it. The Young Avengers have remained silent on it.

There is no evidence that Loki survived the Siege of Asgard. There is, however, evidence that Sassgardian is from Asgard/ia, and is friendly with the people there, as well as with the people of Broxton.

Sassgardian/LokiOfAsgard regularly interacts with not only members of the Young Avengers, but occasionally with other capes as well. This does not happen often, and usually just seems to be him pissing someone off and getting yelled at for being annoying.

It is incredibly unlikely that any of the above would be friendly with someone who countless times before tried to kill them. I strongly doubt even Asgardians would allow a known psychopath to play games with their children.

All this, coupled with the above post, suggests that Loki still remains dead, and Sassgardian just has an unfortunate name, which may be why he spends so much time hanging out with capes. If anything, I think he probably is trying to distance himself from the image that comes with his name by making a new one. But he should really get rid of the horns if this is what he’s trying to do.

Anonymous
This is all really well thought out, nonnie. And I think I agree with it? This seems like a really good round up of all the facts.

Anonymous
Even fucking Loki has stans. Sick

Anonymous
Oh my god, shut up.


witchdude, noththehawkguy, babbyhulk, plus_five_to_bling

lokiofasgard What do you do after banishing a ten-headed werecat back to its own realm? 3AM PIZZA OF COURSE! #latenightheroics

witchdude I was starting to think you were making her up.
lokiofasgard I have other friends. Just because you don’t doesn’t mean we all have to be lonely.
supersmrt ouch, dude. ouch
plus_five_to_bling Do we do this every week? If I’m careful, I might be able to make a habit of this.
lokiofasgard 😀

« ||

Superhero RPF #6

Capes. Anon. — Hulk smash!

What ever happened to ____?

Anonymous
Where did Sassgardian go? For Asgardia hasn’t been updated in almost two weeks, which is really strange for him. He’s always been an every couple of days kind of ficcer. His tumblr’s been quiet too. I haven’t even seen any queued posts go by.

 

Anonymous
Well, like you said. It’s only been a few weeks. Most WIPs are lucky to get updates every few months. Maybe he’s finally burning out.

Anonymous
Well, I imagine he must have a real life and a job doing something. Writing fic doesn’t pay the bills and build cosplay outfits.

Anonymous
If he defaults on CapeSwap, does that mean I can default on writing for him and not feel bad about it?

 

Anonymous
Oh my god, just default already. You’re just making it more difficult for the pinch hitters.

Anonymous
Please don’t be that asshole that drops out at the very end and sticks the pinch hitter with an assignment they only have three days to write.

 

Anonymous
+1

Anonymous
The last thing I saw from him was on FFA right before the most recent chapter of For Asgardia! went up. He was talking about ordering pizza and having it delivered to Asgardia so he could laugh at the delivery guy trying to figure out how to get up there.

 

Anonymous
God, what a douchebag.

Anonymous
ngl i’d probably laugh too

 

Anonymous
Are you trying to start wank?

 

Anonymous
nope 😀

Anonymous
Chill out, nonnie. Like others have said, two weeks is nothing. Maybe he switched shifts at work, or got a new job, or god forbid, maybe someone in his family got sick. I’m sure whatever it is, he’ll deal with it and come back to writing mediocre fic just for you.


Kamala Khan
It says you’re offline, but you’re invisible a lot. It’s hard to tell sometimes.I guess not. I haven’t seen you in a few days. I hope everything’s all right.

Kate

Are you ready?

Ready and in position.

Don’t.

O:-)

Yeah right.

Who do you think would win in a fight? Billy or David?

I don’t know. Is Billy allowed to use his magic?

Yes, why not.

Hmm. I mean, Billy has his magic, but David’s got that whole “I know kung fu” thing.

David, I think. But narrowly.

David, really?

Yeah. I mean, he’s got the brawn. And how many times have you been ground into the pavement even with all your magic?

Someone’s coming.

CapeSwap — Posting Deadline is next Sunday

That’s right. You have one week before assignments are due. A lot of you have already turned yours in, but for those who haven’t, please make sure you submit your assignment to the AO3 collection by 11:59pm EST on Sunday. If you absolutely need an extension, now is the time to ask for one. Please don’t ask the day before the deadline. Your assignment will be sent straight to the pinch hitters, unless you have a really good excuse.

 

(17 Comments — Leave a Comment)
 


LokiOfAsgard:

What do you do when someone recognises you and is really, really angry with you, but you don’t recognise them? Like, at all.

          #so confused right now #not even joking #what the hel just happened?

24 notes

WitchDude replied to your post: What do you do when someone recognises you and is really, really…

Who’d you piss off this time?

super-smrt replied to your post: What do you do when someone recognises you and is really, really…

Is this another ex-girlfriend? Dude, maybe you should just keep it in your pants for a while.


Sassgardian
Sorry, I was working. It’s been rather busy.Kamala Khan
You’re such a liar. I liked you. I thought you were my friend.Sassgardian
What? I am your friend.Kamala Khan
You could have just told me! Why didn’t you?

Sassgardian
Huh? What?

Oh.

OH.

Right. That.

It’s not that I lied. And anyway, if I lied, then so did you. That was you, wasn’t it? Just two superheroes protecting our secret identities.

Kamala Khan
You’re not a superhero. You’re a villain. You’re not the only one with an internet connection. I can look things up too.

Sassgardian
I am not a villain. I was in the Young Avengers.

Kamala Khan
And you almost got them killed.

Sassgardian
Before helping save the world. It balances out.

And for what it’s worth, those pictures weren’t posted by me. Because I know that’s what you’re thinking.

Kamala Khan
Whatever.

Sassgardian
Oh, come on. Let’s not be like this.

Did you just sign out or go invisible?

Damnit.


All the king’s giraffes – FFA Post #203

Well, the Daily Bugle’s gonna sell a billion copies today (TW: Loki)

Anonymous
hxxp://www.dailybugle.com/article/old-threat-new-face-loki-spotted-in-jersey-city.html

I don’t even know what to say. I feel violated. This is really fucking messed up.

 

Anonymous
Holy shit.

Anonymous
OMFG I think I’m gonna be sick

Anonymous
if ao3 ever needed the ability to remove kudos from a fic, it’s right now. seriously i’m almost tempted to delete my account just to delete my kudos from his fic.

Anonymous
I FUCKING KNEW HE LOOKED FAMILIAR.

Anonymous
Ban him. Ban him from everything ever.

 

Anonymous
+1

Anonymous
+10000000000

Anonymous
Ordinarily I’d disagree, but yeah. This guy’s sick and doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near anybody else.

Anonymous
Wait, is this LokiOfAsgard or Sassgardian? The article suggests the first, but those pictures really look like Sassgardian.

Anonymous
Both, nonnie. He’s been writing self-insert fic. Because he’s not just a mass-murderer, but fucking pathetic as well.

 

Anonymous
Is he, though? I thought we’d been over this before. Loki is a common name, and uh. The Loki we’re all thinking of is dead.

 

Anonymous
da

Isn’t the Loki this article is implying him to be, only twelve or something?

 

Anonymous
DA

I know right? I am so confused. None of this is making any sense.

Anonymous
So.Sassgardian is the guy in the pictures in the article.

DB says that the guy in the pictures in the article is LokiOfAsgard.

LokiOfAsgard was at one point attached to the Young Avengers. Somehow, he aged like, ten years over the span of six months.

Sassgardian, aka LokiOfAsgard lives in New York sometimes, and in Broxton the rest of the time, AKA Asgardia.

 

Do Asgardians age differently than we do? I mean, aside from really slowly, apparently. Is it common for them to just age up really quickly?

 

Anonymous
Maybe he’s a magic user.

 

Anonymous
You know who else was a magic user?

 

Anonymous
There’s no proof that Sassgardian/LokiOfAsgard is that Loki.

 

Anonymous
DA

You’d think someone who shares a name with a mass murderer would want to distance himself from that image as much as possible.

But look at him. He’s got those leather gloves and he’s even wearing horns. That’s pretty close to you-know-who’s signature look.

 

Anonymous
Horns are way too small.

 

Anonymous
So?

Anonymous
Guess who hasn’t turned in their CapeSwap assignment yet.Guess who’s not going to, blacklist be damned.

 

Anonymous
I don’t blame you. Not in the least.

Anonymous
I bet the mods will probably let you participate next round, considering the circumstances.


Kate

I am going to kill him. Stop me.

What?

Parker is a dead man.

Loki, you don’t mean that. Stay right where you are. I’ll be right over.

We’re going for breakfast. Just the two of us.

Can we rob the place when we’re done, at least?

No, I’ve changed my mind. We’re ordering pizza from your place.

« || »

Superhero RPF #5

Capes. Anon. — I am Iron Man

Ms Marvel?

Anonymous
Have you guys heard any of this? Apparently people in New Jersey are saying that there’s a new Ms Marvel in that area. She doesn’t seem to travel though, and there have only been a few reports.

 

Anonymous
This person’s posted a picture. I’ve seen a few others circling around as well

hxxp://i-am-super-who-avenged-locked.tumblr.com/posts/5451258431

 

Anonymous
Looks like she’s trying to bring domino masks back into style.

 

Anonymous
Domino masks will never come back into style.

 

Anonymous
Domino masks never went out of style.

 

Anonymous
I’m wearing one right now.

Anonymous
I love her hairAnonymous
I hate those usernames

Anonymous
She looks really young. But I guess that’s a thing these days. The older superheroes are getting older, and now the younger superheroes are getting younger. Something about it makes me kind of uncomfortable, though. Do her parents know what she’s doing? Do they approve of it?

 

Anonymous
My guess is probably no.

Anonymous
Didn’t Spider-Man start really young, too?

 

Anonymous
DA

Yeah, but things were different, then.

 

Anonymous
na

lol how?

Anonymous
No they weren’t. Not unless supervillains were more likely to pull their punches when Spider-Man started out. And I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the fact that they DIDN’T pull punches the whole reason the superheroes started to be a thing?

 

Anonymous
+1

Speaking of recent sightings, these horns sure to look familiar
Anonymous
TW: Lokihxxp://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maq8pts6lw1qgn1u5o1_500.png

Also spotted in New Jersey, apparently. The picture’s really grainy and dark, but he definitely looks new to the scene as well. No word on alignment.

 

Anonymous
Please don’t change the subject line mid-thread

 

I do what I want!
Anonymous
.

Anonymous
This isn’t the same one that was rumoured to be with the Young Avengers. He’s way too old. That Loki’s just a kid.

Anonymous
He’s way too young to be the one we’re all thinking of though.

 

Anonymous
do we even know for sure that this is a Loki? A lot of Asgardians wear horns apparently.

Anonymous
I love his coat. I wish you could see more of it.

Anonymous
He looks like an Asgardian pimp.

 

Anonymous
Now that you say it, yes he does.

Anonymous
I ship it.Anonymous
Horns are way too small.

Anonymous
It’s hard to tell, because of the low quality of the picture, but I swear I have seen him somewhere before.

 

Anonymous
Maybe his secret identity is that hot guy you see at your mailbox every day.

 

Anonymous
ayrt

lol No, the only person I ever see at my mailbox is my 80 year old mail man.


LokiOfAsgard asked NotTheHawkGuy a question:

I’m really terrible at this secret agent thing, I’ve come to realise. Actually terrible. Me, terrible at something. I can’t believe it.

     NotTheHawkGuy replied: Your picture’s showing up on the internet, isn’t it?

 

 

LokiOfAsgard asked NotTheHawkGuy a question:

Yes. Yes it is. And they didn’t even have the decency to get me in a flattering light.

     NotTheHawkGuy replied: Yeah, I know how that feels. Being a private detective isn’t exactly easy when everyone and their dog recognises you as a Young Avenger.

But it serves you right for taking pictures of Ms Marvel before she went public.

 

 

LokiOfAsgard asked NotTheHawkGuy a question:

Hey! I showed that to exactly two people, and none of the photos of her going around is the one I took.

     NotTheHawkGuy replied: I guess we just all suck at being secret.


For Asgardia! – Sassgardian – Superheroes (Fandom) – Archive of Our Own

It must have been bad if the Warriors Three had been called to take arms. Even worse if Lady Sif was there. If the combined might of the sons of Odin could not stop these evil forces, the outlook was very bleak indeed. The warriors took their mounts and drew their weapons, all ready to attack or defend — Fandral, his sword; Volstagg, his axe; Hogun, his mace; and Sif, her glaive. Thor held his ever-present hammer in clenched fist, while Loki had traded his dagger for a whip. The dagger, whilst powerful, came with a huge drawback: it required very close proximity to the thing that was trying to kill him.

Together, the six of them rode forth, Thor at the fore, with Loki at his right and Sif at his left. It was a path ridden by few, and known to even fewer. It would take them straight into the very heart of Muspelheim, where they knew ten thousand fire demons under Surtur’s command awaited. They were riding to their death, six Asgardians against legions, but even in their death, they knew they had to be victorious. To fail would be the destruction of the Nine, and so they would not fail.


Sassgardian
I think someone is attempting to dox me.Kamala Khan
What? Why?Sassgardian
I’m not sure. I’m wondering if it would be easier to just beat them to it and post the information myself.Kamala Khan
Don’t do that! That’s the opposite of what you want to happen, isn’t it?

Sassgardian
Yes, but if I do it myself, at least it takes the sting out of it. I suppose if I find out who it is, I can pre-emptively do to them what they hope to do to me. They’ll be so busy trying to contain the chaos of their own doxxing that they won’t have time to focus on me.

Kamala Khan
That is really mean. Don’t do that either.

Sassgardian
Hmm.


Kate

You’re a private detective, are you not?

Trying to be.

I wish to hire your services. Post haste.

Whyyyyyyy?

Pack your bags. I require you in New Jersey by Friday.

Loki, it’s Tuesday. Even if I left right now, I wouldn’t be able to get there by Friday. Not without driving very dangerously.

Kate, you are talking to one of the most skilled users of magic in the Nine Realms. Do you not think I would be able to get you where you are needed?

I’ve never actually seen you do magic without having to steal someone else’s powers.

Borrow.

Steal.

I’ll pay you.

How much?

$5000

$10000

Deal.

Seriously?

Do you prefer gold or cash?

WitchDude asked NotTheHawkGuy a question:

I hear you’re coming back into town.

     NotTheHawkGuy replied: I’m not sure for how long. Loki’s suddenly in desperate need of a private detective and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

 

WitchDude asked NotTheHawkGuy a question:

Do you ever get the feeling when you’re near him that everything’s going to just explode for no reason?

     NotTheHawkGuy replied: That or catch fire. Or turn into bees. Or turn into bees on fire.

 

WitchDude asked NotTheHawkGuy a question:

And you still agreed to whatever it is he’s planning?

     NotTheHawkGuy replied: I agreed to $10000 cash. Whatever he has planned can’t possibly be worse than anything I’ve already done out here.

 

WitchDude asked NotTheHawkGuy a question:

You did not just say that.

     NotTheHawkGuy replied: You’re right. What was I thinking? He’s going to get me killed.

 

WitchDude asked NotTheHawkGuy a question:

He’s good for the money, though. David says he’s loaded.

     NotTheHawkGuy replied: Good. He can pay for my funeral.


WitchDude:

NotTheHawkGuy:

LokiOfAsgard:

Something has very suddenly come up. I’m afraid I won’t be available for breakfast at all this week.

Welcome to my world.

Bummer. I’d just talked Tommy into coming too.

PlusFiveToBling liked your post: WitchDude: NotTheHawkGuy: LokiOfAsgard: Something has very…

« || »

Superhero RPF #4

Sassgardian:

NotYourBarista:

PlusFiveToBling:

Sassgardian:

Started work on a new Iron Man suit. This one may take a while to put together, but I think it will be worth it.

Woah, it even lights up.

Dude, how long did that take? That looks just like the real thing.

Not terribly long, actually. Most of the hard work was just gathering the materials for it.

1,568 notes


Someone asked Sassgardian a question:

OMG your cosplays are SO GOOD. How do you make that stuff? Everything’s, like PERFECT. You should do costumes for the movies!

     Sassgardian replied: They are rather good, aren’t they?


Kamala Khan
Help, I’m stuck!Sassgardian
I’ll grab the crowbar.Kamala Khan
Not like that.I’ve got Wolverine and Gambit separated from the rest, and now I don’t know what to do with them.Sassgardian
Is this Wolverine/Gambit, or Wolverine & Gambit?

Kamala Khan
Wolverine/Gambit

Sassgardian
That is a quandary, indeed.

Is it a situation where they might need to huddle together for warmth?

Kamala Khan
Ooh, no. But I think it can be.

Sassgardian
Huh. Now I’m starting to wonder if Wolverine can freeze to death. Or if he’d just be another Captain America, and find himself in stasis until someone came along and thawed him out.

Kamala Khan
I’m now picturing Wolverine in a giant block of ice.

Sassgardian
So am I.


Sassgardian:

fishbreath:

Sassgardian:

deconsecr8or:

Sassgardian:

Ex-girlfriends are scary. Especially when you can’t remember what you did to make them hate you.

hahahaha sucks to be you

Oh, shut up.

Which one was it? Was it Lorelei? I bet it was Lorelei.

It was none of your business.


For Asgardia! – Sassgardian – Superheroes (Fandom) – Archive of Our Own

Thor looked around, trying to see what he could in the pitch darkness that surrounded him. There were creatures there, hiding in the shadow, and though they spoke in whispers, Thor could not hear them. But he knew they were there all the same. How many were there, however, he could not say. Dozens, hundreds. Thousands? He had only Mjolnir to protect him, and a treacherous thought told him that this time, Mjolnir may not be enough. He cursed his brother for betraying him; cursed himself for trusting him.

But no. Loki would not betray him, and Thor knew it. Though it may sometimes seem as if Loki had abandoned him to his fate, he knew that there was always a plan. Loki always schemed for any possible outcome, and never shared these schemes because there was never the time to do so. Loki had never told Thor even this much, but somehow, Thor knew it to be true. Loki had not abandoned him. He may have been using Thor for bait, but he had not led him there to die. Bolstered by this, Thor raised Mjolnir and bared his teeth at the darkness.

“You hide like cowards. Show yourselves!” he commanded.

Something hissed but scant inches from Thor’s face, and it reeked of death and decay.

“What brings you here, little Aesir?” it asked.

Thor swung his mighty battle hammer without warning, and though he could not see it in his own hand, he felt as it struck true. “Vengeance,” he said, as the void around him erupted into deafening shrieks.


Apocalypse Yesterday – FFA Post #199

Things You Wouldn’t Admit Unanon

Anonymous
I’m really liking For Asgardia. I know we’re not supposed to, but I can’t help it.

 

Anonymous
The prose could be better, but I’ll admit the plot’s got me hooked.

Anonymous
Yeah, I’m starting to think he is using the Loki that may or may not have been part of the Young Avengers, and just slotting him into the role that the other Loki had wrt Asgard/ia. And now I’m actually starting to get curious about the Young Avengers.

 

Anonymous
I really wish that team was documented better. I know he’s from Broxton, but I think he might just be confused and thinks that they’re the same person?

 

Anonymous
DA

Well, if Tumblr accounts count for anything, there’s hxxp://lokiofasgard.tumblr.com

It does seem like this guy’s connected with YA somehow, and if his url is to be believed, is from Asgard/ia. Maybe it’s just a really popular name.

 

Anonymous
da

Yeah, look at this

hxxp://lokiofasgard.tumblr.com/posts/45242546

This was the last photo he posted. He looks about twelve. Maybe that’s why it wasn’t documented. They probably didn’t want to get in trouble for having actual children on their team. I know it’s different for people from Asgardia, but not everyone does know that. Most people would see him and think he was just a regular kid.

 

Anonymous
Aw, look at them! They’re all so happy together. Why’d they disband, I wonder?

 

Anonymous
Weren’t able to balance their grades and fighting crime?

Anonymous
IDK, but Hawkeye’s in LA. She’s trying to become a private detective, apparently.

 

Anonymous
lol she’s not being very private about it.

Anonymous
I was liking it, until I saw this post.hxxp://sassgardian.tumblr.com/posts/6234859

 

Anonymous
NA

Yep, thanks for the reminder, nonnie. I was starting to forget why he bothers me so much.

Anonymous
ugh and i was starting to think we’d be spared this sort of bullshit.

Anonymous
The annoying part is that I agree with him on this, but he’s such an ass about it that I don’t want him on my side.

 

Anonymous
I know right? I think that’s the most frustrating thing about that post.


Sassgardian:

If I see one more fic with that bad “olde English” with thee and thou and thy everywhere, I am going to punch something through a wall. That is not how Asgardians speak. For that matter, they use contractions. These people are Asgardians, not robots. Unless you happen to be writing an AU in which all Asgardians are robots, please take care how you write their speech. Otherwise, you do everyone a disservice.

213 notes


Someone asked Sassgardian a question:

lol who the hell makes you the authority on these things? Why is your headcanon any better or more valid than anyone else’s?

     Sassgardian replied: Because I rutting live there. It’s not headcanon. It’s fact.

74 notes


Kamala Khan
Ugh ignore them. You can tell people you have first hand experience with something until you’re blue in the face, and they’ll still find ways to discredit you.I mean, not to go all oppression olympics on you, but at least they’re just being jerks over something small like this, and not trying to tell you how you should feel about not being white.Sassgardian
ActuallyI think that was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.Kamala Khan
🙂

How’s your assignment coming?

Sassgardian
I’ve decided to fill the Young Avengers prompt. It’s gen, so I *shouldn’t* get told to take it down.

Kamala Khan
That’s still weird that your other one got a C&D. I know it happens sometimes, but that’s crazy that it happened to you in less than a day.

Sassgardian
I posted it around to more than a few sites. I suppose it just got seen by someone who didn’t want to see it.

Kamala Khan
lol I guess announcing it everywhere kind of backfired on you, didn’t it?

Sassgardian
I’ve had worse things backfire. This was relatively minor in the grand scheme of back-fieryness.

Kamala Khan
I want to ask, but I’m afraid of what you’ll tell me.

Sassgardian
Then perhaps it’s best you not ask.


Sassgardian:

LINK: Leave The Earth Behind You And Take A Walk In The Sunshine – Chapter 1 – Sassgardian – Superheroes (Fandom) [Archive of Our Own]

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Superheroes (Fandom)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Iron Man/Thor
Characters: Iron Man/Thor
Additional Tags: more than hugging, a lot more than hugging
Summary:

Iron Man tries to introduce Thor to some of the less-vanilla aspects of Midgardian sex. Thor has already tried it all.

     deconsecr8or replied to your post: gross, dude

     fishbreath replied to your post: I’m not even going to click on that lol

     PlusFiveToBling replied to your post: omg wow. But why did you give exact measurements for Iron Man’s dingle-dangle, and then not even mention Thor’s?


LokiOfAsgard:

WitchDude:

LokiOfAsgard:

I don’t know why I just did that.

What? Did you finally find a way to out-troll yourself?

I think that is precisely what just happened, yes.

          #someone take the internet away from me #i think i just sprained something #and not in a good way


Kate

Please tell me you’re not still in LA

Okay, I won’t.

Kate, are you still in LA?

Yeah, why?

Damn it!

Why, what’s up?

Loki?

Loki? Hello?

LOKI

You are in so much trouble.


Bruuuuuuno

Can you please do me a super big really huge favor please?

Uhhhhhh that doesn’t make me nervous at all

Lokiofasgard.tumblr.com go there please and see if he has a pictures tag

Why me?

I have really crappy signal here and can’t get 3G at all. Bruno please, this is important.

Is this your internet boyfriend?

He’s not my internet boyfriend, and this isn’t even him! I think this guy might be a double-crossing supervillain. Bruno, please.

Yeah, okay. What am I looking for? Is it the little kid in the funny hat?

He’s just a kid?

Crap! g2g


WitchDude asked LokiOfAsgard a question:

Kate’s really worried about you. She says you’re ignoring her texts. What’s going on?

     LokiOfAsgard replied: No, not ignoring her. I simply had a rough night, and was hoping she might be able to lend some assistance. Being that she was still in LA, I was forced to find other options. I shall return her texts as soon as I charge my phone.

 

 

WitchDude asked LokiOfAsgard a question:

I assume it wasn’t the sort of rough night that involved one too many drinks.

     LokiOfAsgard replied: That would be a correct assumption, yes. Someone seems to be impersonating Captain Marvel, but she’s working in a very specific area. One which I find myself needing to be in quite regularly. Either she has assumed I am a villain, or she is a villain herself. There hasn’t been much time for chatting, so I can’t be sure.

 

 

WitchDude asked LokiOfAsgard a question:

Do you mean Ms Marvel?

     LokiOfAsgard replied: …

I feel rather foolish for missing that.


Sassgardian
Did you know there’s a new Ms Marvel? I just found this out.Kamala Khan
Yeah, I think I heard something about that.She’s even here in Jersey, I think.Sassgardian
I saw a picture and didn’t even recognise her?Kamala Khan
There are pictures of her?

Sassgardian
Indeed.

Well, one anyway. hxxp://imgur.com/afNE45.png

Kamala Khan
Yeah, wow. I wonder who took that.

Sassgardian
It doesn’t exactly look like an official promo shoot, does it? You can’t even see her face.

Kamala Khan
Are you sure that’s Ms Marvel, then?

Sassgardian
That’s just what I’ve been told.

Kamala Khan
Oh.

Sassgardian
Are you well? You seem subdued.

Kamala Khan
Yeah, sorry. I’m just working on a report that’s due tomorrow.

Sassgardian
In that case, I shall leave you to it.

« || »

Superhero RPF #3

Kate

photo.jpg
Are you guys recruiting again?

Who is that?

Is that Captain Marvel?

That was precisely what I thought as well. Though it was dark, the person behind the domino mask did not look familiar. Her hair was the wrong colour, for one.

No, I haven’t heard anything about getting the band back together. I’m still in LA.

Then who the Hel was that?

More importantly, what were you doing in a creepy abandoned warehouse last night?

I *was* following the trail of a particularly nasty creature in the hopes that it might lead me to the particularly nasty villain that’s been smuggling weapons out of Asgardia, but then our friend in the stolen costume decided I was the villain.

It’s the horns. You look like you’re either going for an evil Satanic sorcerer thing, or you’re trying to make a very terrible pun about your current mood.

Well. Yes.

To which one?

Wait, don’t answer that.


NotYourBarista:

PlusFiveToBling:

Nakikia:

NotYourBarista:

PlusFiveToBling:

Last night was so weird. I can’t believe it’s morning already. Can I just sleep all day please?

God, tell me about it. Nacho Creep was back last night. It took me an hour to get rid of him.

I see your Nacho Creep and raise you Phantom Dog.

Phantom Dog actually scares me. Nacho Creep, you can at least call the cops on. You still don’t know where it comes from?

Well, it was a full moon last night. Lots of scary things happening.


Kamala Khan
Are you doing Cape Swap?Sassgardian
No, but I think I want to. What is it?Kamala Khan
hxxp://capeswap.livejournal.comSign ups are open for another week.Sassgardian
Oh, most excellent. People have begun posting their letters already. I shall have to sign up.

Kamala Khan
You can request individuals, or teams. I requested Iron Man, Thor, and the Avengers

Sassgardian
Isn’t that just a sneaky way of requesting the Avengers three times?

Kamala Khan
No. Shh

Sassgardian
Thor appears to be the only Asgardian on the character list.

Kamala Khan
I guess nobody nominated the rest. Who else is there?

Sassgardian
Pick anybody from the myths. And then some.

Kamala Khan
I don’t actually know the myths very well. Funny enough, they never come up.

Sassgardian
Well, there’s Sif. Everyone’s afraid to her, and with good reason. She’s even worse than Thor when it comes to solving problems by hitting them.

She and Thor may be having some sort of tryst, but I’m not sure.

Heimdall more or less just stands around all day. With no bifrost to guard, I guess he’s out of a job.

Kamala Khan
I wonder if Asgardia has unemployment benefits.

Sassgardian
Perhaps it’s something their new government can work towards.


fishbreath:

deconsecr8or:

Sassgardian:

deconsecr8or:

fishbreath:

Sassgardian:

deconsecr8or:

Sassgardian:

PlusFiveToBling:

Sassgardian:

A few pics from this week’s AD&D game. They’re not usually this wild. Even when we do have local law enforcement called to our location.

WOW! You guys are actually in Asgardia! Is that Thor? Can you get me his autorgraph? Or sorry, is that a rude thing to ask?

I can ask next time I’m up there. I told you, we’re very close. I doubt he’d mind at all.

i think thors still mad at me over that whole deconsecrator thing. i dont think he was very happy about me being there

I am sorry to have missed the whole Deconsecrator thing. That’s the sort of thing I live for.

You didn’t miss much. We all slept through it.

dude it was awesome. except for when it tried to kill us. that was not awesome

Perhaps we should pay the Mares a visit some time.

NO

REALLY NO


Kamala Khan
I didn’t think you could get into Asgardia. How does that work? Do you need a passport or something?Sassgardian
Asgardia has an open border, technically. Anyone can enter, so long as you know how to get in, which usually requires knowing the right people.Kamala Khan
Ugh, I wish I didn’t live in freaking Jersey. I want to go so bad.Sassgardian
Asking your parents to let you take a weekend trip is out of the question, I presume?Kamala Khan
So far out of the question I might as well be speaking Japanese when I ask them.

Sassgardian
And I thought my parents were unreasonable. At least I was allowed to leave the house.

Kamala Khan
It’s not that I’m not allowed to do *anything*. They’re just very strict about some things. I was born here, but they weren’t, and that’s a big part of it I think.

Sassgardian
Where were they born?

Kamala Khan
Pakistan

Sassgardian
Cool

Kamala Khan
Really?

Sassgardian
I think so. They’ve been somewhere I haven’t. That’s pretty cool.

Kamala Khan
I guess.


For Asgardia! – Sassgardian – Superheroes (Fandom) – Archive of Our Own

As Loki climbed the tower, he wondered why he was there. Why was he even doing this? He could have been anywhere else, enjoying himself in any of the realms, but no. He was climbing some crumbling old tower in Alfheim, because someone had to do it. And it couldn’t be Thor, because he was busy on the ground, making sure nobody followed Loki up the side of the tower. The elves didn’t even care about what was in the tower. They just cared that the tower was being besieged by two Asgardians. And they were angry that two Asgardians was all it took to besiege them. What an entire army of trolls or dwarfs would have managed, Thor and Loki alone accomplished.

Loki could hear beneath him the sounds of battle, while above him the sky grew dark and angry with storm. He worried that in his frenzy, Thor might call down lighting and strike him instead of an elf. He knew from experience that the horns he wore worked annoyingly well as lightning rods, and he knew he should have taken them off. But he didn’t. For one, the horns were seriously cool and not at all dorky, and for two, he hadn’t his hands free to take them off even if he wanted to. He was too busy scaling the side of a crumbling old tower and trying not to fall off or get struck by lightning.

He reached the highest window just as the deafening roar of thunder and blinding flash of lightning filled the air. He tumbled inside, and that was when he found himself face-to-face with a storm giant.


Banana Hammock Republic – FFA Post #196

Exchanges/Challenges/Fests/etc – Cape Swap

Anonymous
Assignments went out today! Tell us about yours, nonnies!

 

Anonymous
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Anonymous
omg omg omg I love mine! I love my recip’s fic and now I’m all worried because what if mine’s not good enough, but also EEEEEEEEE!

 

Anonymous
haha me too, nonnie. I’m having that exact same emotion right now.

 

Anonymous
Not me. I got assigned to write for a wanker.

 

Anonymous
Let me guess: Sassgardian?

 

Anonymous
Kind of hijacking this thread for a minute, but since you brought him up. Did anyone see hxxp://sassgardian.tumblr.com/posts/1268245

I think that settles it. He really is from Broxton.

 

Anonymous
Yeah, apparently his AD&D games are pretty wild. I don’t even play AD&D, but I kind of want to sit in on one of their sessions just for the lol factor.

Anonymous
Does it bother anyone else that he plays AD&D with a girl that looks like she’s barely old enough to be in high school?

 

Anonymous
If she’s Asgardian, which I think she is, she’s probably older than all of us put together.

 

Anonymous
Yeah, but she’s still mentally a child, isn’t she?

 

Anonymous
ayrt

I’m not actually sure how it works with them. The US government gives them a lot of exemptions on a lot of things, because of how they’re technically aliens or something. I do know that much.

 

Anonymous
DA

According to this site (hxxp://travel.state.gov/content/visas/asgardia-english.html) the border between Asgardia and the US is completely open in ways that make the US/Canada border jealous. They don’t need any paperwork to travel, and we don’t need any paperwork to get in. But if they want to actually live here, or if they look like they’re under 21 and they want to go to a bar or whatever, there’s a certain visa they can apply for.

I can’t find anything on age of majority in Asgardia. Which means they either don’t have one, or they just haven’t documented anything on the subject yet. I’m almost leaning toward the first, but I’m not sure.

 

Anonymous
Mostly correct! Asgardia has no official “legal age,” though there are some activities which are just more socially-acceptable after a certain age. With non-alcoholic beverages have been made readily available now, it’s not quite so common to see young children drinking ale at dinner. Though some old-fashioned families will still allow their children to partake. As for co-ed activities, that generally befalls to the parents’ judgement. Hilde and Gunnar’s parents know they play AD&D with us, and their father was even present in some of the photos I posted. All is well, and you need not worry.

 

Anonymous
Speak his name, and he shall be summoned.

Anonymous
God, that place is so weird.

Anonymous
So, you’re saying any random kid from Broxton could just walk in and get drunk, and that’s legal? That sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.

 

Anonymous
Of course they can. If they can figure out how to get into a city that sits twenty feet above the plain.

 

Anonymous
alright. how do you get in then?

 

Anonymous
Through the front door.

 

Anonymous
ugh, you’re such an ass.

Anonymous
What did he request?

Anonymous
DA

I just went through the request summary, and nothing I’d really consider trollish or impossible to fill, tbqh. Black Widow/Hawkguy, Avengers teamfic, and Thor solo. He makes no mention, either in his sign-up or his letter, of Loki or any other villain.

 

Anonymous
Yeah, it’s not that his requests are something I don’t feel I can write for. I just don’t want to write for him. I’m not going to drop out or anything. I guess I’m just bitter

 

Anonymous
That’s understandable, I think. A few years ago for a swap for another fandom, I got paired with a notorious wanker. One who would actually go after other people in the fandom and attack them for daring to ship anything other than her precious babies. I am not ashamed to say that I did drop out of that swap.

 

Anonymous
Ew. I’d have dropped out as well. I hate people like that.

Anonymous
da

yeah, at least all sassgardian does is preach on his own blog. i’ve never seen him actually go out and start wank. he just lets it come to him.

 

Anonymous
ayrt

God, any fandom he’s in would explode forever if he was any more of an active wanker. Thank god his is only passive wank.

 

Anonymous
na

Passive Wank is going to be the name of my band.

Anonymous
Is it bad that I’m considering writing a treat for that Black Widow/Hawkguy prompt?

Anonymous
i’m kind of eyeing that avengers prompt, honestly.

 

Anonymous
Same here, nonnie.

Anonymous
What’s the etiquette of using a prompt, but not actually gifting it to the prompter?

 

Anonymous
Kinda douchey, I think.

 

Anonymous
+1

Anonymous
I don’t know. I think it might be okay if you never mention that you got the prompt from an exchange request summary.Anonymous
Probably not a good idea, since he’s right here in the thread.

 

Anonymous
Not everything is about him, you know. I could have been referring to literally any of the other dozens of people participating.

 

Anonymous
lol sure you were


Kamala Khan
How’s your Cape Swap assignment? Anything good?Sassgardian
I was matched on the prompt for Thor, but I am strongly considering writing for their Young Avengers prompt instead.The jury is, as they say, still out.Kamala Khan
I have noooooooo idea what I’m going to do for mine lolAt least we have two months to work on it. Why did I offer the X-men? This is always what happens!

Sassgardian
Why DID you offer the X-men?

Kamala Khan
Because I needed a fifth offer and picked something at random.

Sassgardian
That was incredibly unwise.

Kamala Khan
Yes it was. I regret this decision immediately.


LokiOfAsgard asked NotTheHawkGuy a question:

Would you be terribly upset if I wrote fic about you and Billy? I absolutely, cross my heart, promise it will be completely gen and G-rated, with nothing untoward said about either of you.

     NotTheHawkGuy replied: It wasn’t the fact that you wrote a story about me that was upsetting. It was the content. If you absolutely, no fingers crossed, swear on your life to keep it Disney, yes. You can write a story about me.

 

 

LokiOfAsgard asked NotTheHawkGuy a question:

Yay!

     NotTheHawkGuy replied: I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?

 

 

LokiOfAsgard asked NotTheHawkGuy a question:

😀

     NotTheHawkGuy replied: Yep. I’m going to regret this.

 


LokiOfAsgard:

MsStarsAndStripes

super-smrt:

babby-hulk:

WitchDude:

LokiOfAsgard:

I have to do some running around tonight. Anyone want to come with me?

I am so sick of running away from things.

That makes two of us

What cosmic horrors has he pissed off this time?

Is this another mess of his we have to clean up?

Fine, I’ll go alone!

          #all by myself #alone #forever alone #cry moar

 

« || »

Superhero RPF #2

Planet Unicorn – PlusFiveToBling – Superheroes (Fandom) – Archive of Our Own

Words: 38577 | Chapters: 7/7 | Comments: 259 | Kudos: 987 | Bookmarks: 57 | Hits: 9858

Sassgardian on Chapter 7
You have quite the gift for comedy, my friend.

 

PlusFiveToBling on Chapter 7
hee Thank you! I didn’t think you’d read any of my stuff, because it’s kinda different from what you write.

 

Sassgardian on Chapter 7
When getting the feel for a new space, it’s wise to learn everything you can about it.

Unfortunately, that means also reading a lot of badfic. Would you like some anti-recs?

 

PlusFiveToBling on Chapter 7
omg I don’t know if you’re joking or not, but that’s mean.


Salad Shuffle – FFA Post #193

Fic Discussion!

Anonymous
For Asgardia updated today. It only took him three chapters to completely cross the line. He’s got to be doing this on purpose.

hxxp://archiveofourown.org/works/10786/chapters/21647

 

Anonymous
Wow. I knew he was tasteless, but… wow. I don’t know what’s more offensive. That he put Loki in his fic, or that he’s trying to make him a hero.

 

Anonymous
Wait, did he really?

Anonymous
Thank you for that. I usually follow these anti-rec links out of morbid curiosity, and would have been seriously triggered by this. I’m actually upset just reading about it.

 

Anonymous
I’m sorry, nonnie.

Anonymous
Yeah, it’s a seriously shit move. It’s superHERO RPF. Not superVILLAIN RPF.

 

Anonymous
NA

Sorry for being ignorant, but what’s the difference?

 

Anonymous
It’s pretty much an unwritten rule of superhero RPF that you don’t write about actual villains, and just make up your own threats instead. A lot of people in this fandom are here for catharsis, because they’ve been affected by this stuff personally. Having a supervillain who might have caused the death of a family member pop up in a fic can be really damaging.

 

Anonymous
Thank you. That makes a lot of sense, actually.

Anonymous
As if Loki could ever be a fucking hero. This makes me sick.

Anonymous
IDK. Don’t the Young Avengers sometimes work with someone called Loki? Superheros change their names to ill-advised things all the time. Wiccan used to call himself Asgardian or something, didn’t he?

 

Anonymous
There were rumours, but it’s never been proven. They only recently reformed, and then disbanded again almost immediately. Nothing was ever properly documented.

 

Anonymous
But if he’s writing THAT Loki, is there really anything wrong with what he’s doing? If he did work with the Young Avengers, he probably was a hero.

 

Anonymous
But he’s still writing Loki as Thor’s brother, and even specifically mentions his part in the Siege of Asgard.

 

Anonymous
People can change, though. Maybe that’s what he’s trying to get at?

 

Anonymous
It’s just not an acceptable thing in the fandom, period.

Anonymous
Can we also talk about how he has no fucking clue how sex even works. His porn is hilariously painful to read.

 

Anonymous
oh god, i know right? did you see the hawkeye/miss america one he wrote, before it got taken down? i don’t think he’s ever seen a woman in his life.

 

Anonymous
AYRT

No! Why did it get taken down? It’s unlike him to pull fic for any reason.

 

Anonymous
ayrt

he got a take down notice on it, supposedly. it was for young avengers, so probably because one of them is underage.

 

Anonymous
AYRT

Gross.


Kamala Khan
Hey, just to let you know, it’s probably not a good idea to have actual supervillains in your fic. It’s really good, and I like what you’re doing with it so far, but you might want to just keep it drawer fic.Sassgardian
But he’s not a villain. He’s a loveable scamp with a heart of gold.Honestly. He was part of the Young Avengers and everything. I follow him on Tumblr.Kamala Khan
He’s on Tumblr?

Sassgardian
hxxp://lokiofasgard.tumblr.com

Kamala Khan
That looks like a food blog. It’s just pictures of bacon and pancakes.

Sassgardian
I know! It’s great!

Kamala Khan
Oh, wow. I think you’re right. Is that Wiccan he’s talking to?

Sassgardian
He talks to Hawkeye a lot too. The cute one, not the hunky one.

Kamala Khan
omg


Sassgardian:

After much thought and deliberation, I have decided not to edit my story. I will keep it as it is, and shall not be changing any elements. Nor shall I apologise.

175 notes


NotTheHawkGuy asked LokiOfAsgard a question:

Everything all right?

     LokiOfAsgard replied: Nothing out of the ordinary. It’s almost like being back in Asgardia, only with less punching.

 

 

NotTheHawkGuy asked LokiOfAsgard a question:

You know, I’ve been craving waffles lately. Like, it’s all I can think about.

     LokiOfAsgard replied: I am there. Locate the nearest eatery of your choice, and make sure they have an extensive breakfast menu.


Sassgardian:

PlusFiveToBling:

Sassgardian:

PlusFiveToBling:

Sassgardian:

It’s been a while since I’ve been kicked out of a dining establishment. Oh, the memories.

Do you ever eat at home? That’s the fourth time this week you’ve mentioned going out.

Sometimes I have friends over, and we’ll order something in. I’ve never had the patience for cooking though.

How are you not completely broke?

I’m just lucky, I guess.


PlusFiveToBling:

LINK: Iron Thunder – Chapter 1 – PlusFiveToBling – Superheroes (Fandom) [Archive of Our Own]

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Superheroes (Fandom)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Thor/Iron Man
Characters: Thor, Iron Man, Captain America
Additional Tags: awesome battles, UST, inappropriate use of mjolnir
Summary:

Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America respond to a crisis in Florida. And then things get out of hand.

     Sassgardian replied to your post: Well, there’s a mental image I may never be rid of.


fishbreath:

Sassgardian:

fishbreath:

deconsecr8or:

Sassgardian:

deconsecr8or:

Sassgardian:

deconsecr8or:

i can’t believe the cops got called

Worth it.

you are a great big bag of dicks sometimes you know that?

True, but I am also the best DM you’re ever going to meet, so I’d say it all balances out in the end.

yeah pretty much

My father says if it happens again, I can’t play with you guys any more. Something about ruining his reputation.

Your father used to know how to have fun. What ever happened to him?

I’m telling him you said that.


Kamala Khan
You DM? That’s so cool.Sassgardian
Back in Oklahoma, yes. I don’t have a New York group. But I could probably cobble one together if you’re interested.Kamala Khan
I am, but my parents would never let me. Because you’re a boy and I’m not allowed to even look at boys until I’m 28.Wait, do you live in Oklahoma or New York? I’m confused.

Sassgardian
Both, in a way. I have an apartment in New York, but ‘home’ is technically Oklahoma.

Kamala Khan
lol Are you a cowboy?

Sassgardian
Broxton doesn’t have any cowboys that I’m aware of.

Kamala Khan
omg You’re from Broxton? No wonder you know so much about all the Thor stuff. That is so cool!

Have you ever seen him?

Thor, I mean.

Sassgardian
Oh, yes. All the time. He just drank all my beer yesterday.

Kamala Khan
No he didn’t.

Sassgardian
Cross my heart.

Kamala Khan
lol


Sassgardian:

LINK: Love is What You Make of It – Chapter 1 – Sassgardian – Superheroes (Fandom) [Archive of Our Own]

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Superheroes (Fandom)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Black Widow/Hawkeye (Male)
Characters: Black Widow, Hawkeye (Male)
Additional Tags: hugging for warmth, and other reasons, mostly other reasons, because sex
Summary:

Black Widow and Hawkeye go to the Italian Alps on a mission. It goes bad. The mission, not the Alps.

     deconsecr8or replied to your post: very nice

     PlusFiveToBling replied to your post: omg You totally have a crush on Hawkeye, don’t you?


Someone asked Sassgardian a question:

Could you please tag your porn?

     Sassgardian replied: It was marked explicit. That’s tagged enough, I should think.

          #porn #porn #porn #porn #porn #porn #porn #porn #porn #porn #porn



PlusFiveToBling:

Sassgardian:

Trying out my new Hawkguy outfit.

Wow, that looks just like the one he wears. You’ve even got the patches!


NotTheHawkGuy asked LokiOfAsgard a question:

Ooh, buster. You better give that back. How did you even get that from him?

     LokiOfAsgard replied: 😀


For Asgardia! – Sassgardian – Superheroes (Fandom) – Archive of Our Own

Loki and Thor stood back to back, each with their weapons raised. While Loki’s dagger wasn’t as imposing as the hammer Thor held aloft, it had power of its own. Power so great, he dared not ever mention it, lest Asgardia’s fear of him become too much. Some fear was good; fear that commanded respect. But Asgardia’s fear of Loki already verged on inciting hateful, angry mobs at his very mention. It was a very counter-productive fear.

All around them, the trolls circled in closer. Ulik led the war party, and had painted his face with the blood of an Asgardian slain earlier in the battle. It wasn’t typical troll behaviour, but Loki knew why he had done it.

“Ulik, I shall kill you for this,” Thor said, his voice thunder and storm.

Ulik raised his axe. “You shall die trying, Asgardian!”

The trollish war party all rushed at the brothers, weapons raised and teeth bared. Thor waited not for them to get close, and summoning the power of the heavens, he brought Mjolnir down to the ground, and with it lightning and earthquakes that shook the entire realm. The trolls were all thrown back like ragdolls, while Loki, close behind Thor, remained untouched by the elemental magic.

“At least give me a chance,” said Loki, almost disappointed that he hadn’t got to fight.

“Take this one,” Thor said. He pointed with Mjolnir at a troll that had already got to its feet and was running at the brothers.

The troll was bigger than Loki, but it mattered not. With his dagger in hand, he slashed toward the troll, drawing not only blood, but its very lifeforce. The troll howled in rage and in pain, but did not yield, and so Loki slashed again. Even the smallest nick to the creature’s skin bore unbearable agony to the troll, bringing its very lifeforce into the blade. With each life the dagger took, it grew stronger, and with its strength, it took only the smallest slashes from its blade to fell a foe. Had Thor not been so preoccupied with foes of his own, he may have even noticed.


Kamala Khan
Hey, do you have time to read over something for me? I can’t quite get it right and I’m not sure what’s wrong with it.Sassgardian
Do you have it uploaded to a Google Document?Kamala Khan
Yeah, let me share it with you.Sassgardian
Oh, you’re writing Thor fic.

Kamala Khan
I highlighted where I’m starting to have problems.

Sassgardian
That’s not how Thor flies with his hammer. He has to swing it around and then he throws it and gets pulled along. Terribly undignified really. He just manages to make it look good.

Kamala Khan
Wow, really? I guess you’ve probably seen him do it up close, huh?

Sassgardian
A few times.

Asgardia isn’t a monarchy any more. Or they’re trying not to be, anyway. There’s the start of a senate and everything.

Kamala Khan
Oh cool. How come that never made it into the news?

Sassgardian
Because Asgardia thinks it’s nobody’s business.

Ah yes, I see what you mean. Get rid of the thees and thous and dosts. They don’t actually speak like that. And if they do, it’s just because they think it’s funny. Mostly they just sound like anyone else.

Kamala Khan
And you think that should fix it?

Sassgardian
Verily.


fishbreath:

deconsecr8or:

Sassgardian:

deconsecr8or:

Sassgardian:

PlusFiveToBling:

Sassgardian:

I would like to take a moment to discuss the topic of Asgardia, as it has a large presence in the superhero fandom. I can see Asgardia from my window. Having spent much time around these people, living with the consequences of their battles and sqabbles, I would consider myself something of an expert on the topic.

Read More

Wow, that was really interesting. Those pictures are amazing!

There are a great many more on my imgur album.

isnt the drinking age really low? we should go up there some time

I declare our next AD&D game should commence in the mead hall!

this sounds like an excellent idea. nothing could possibly go wrong.

I won’t even have to borrow the horse!

213 notes


Space: It’s full of stars – FFA Post #194

hxxp://sassgardian.tumblr.com/posts/1245832

Anonymous
Sassgardian declares himself to be an expert on all things Asgardia.

*popcorn.gif*

 

Anonymous
Well, if he does live right there, is it really so much of a stretch to believe he might actually know something about what goes on?

 

Anonymous
I don’t think he really does, though. All of his selfie pics are from around New York.

 

Anonymous
ayrt

Maybe he just moved there? I don’t know, a lot of what he says in that post seems pretty legit.

Anonymous
He posted an imgur album. He’s got a few selfies with Thor in there, and they do look like they were taken in Oklahoma.

hxxp://sassgardian.imgur.com/all

 

Anonymous
DA

Broxton’s a huge tourist destination, though. Are you sure that’s really Thor, and not just a look-alike?

 

Anonymous
lol I wouldn’t call Broxton a huge anything.

Anonymous
it looks like thor to me.

Anonymous
Suddenly, his dragon dicks have a whole new context to them.

Anonymous
omg

Anonymous
Does Asgardia have dragons?

 

Anonymous
hxxp://i.imgur.com/NDadsf45.png

That looks rather dragony to me.

 

Anonymous
Holy shit

Anonymous
Whoa. Mind blown.

Anonymous
Shop? It’s a shop, right? It’s got to be a shop.

Anonymous
Now I want to know why he’s been close enough to see what their dicks look like.

Anonymous
Okay, but he’s still an asshat. Could that post possibly be any more condescending?

Anonymous
+1

Anonymous
+2


LokiOfAsgard:

Why do they always call when I’m right in the middle of something?

          #at least i wasn’t in the shower this time

« || »

Superhero RPF #1

Sassgardian:

Well, that’s it. 82 chapters, and almost 200,000 words, and I am finally done with my epic WIP of winning and epicness. Just in time for the hiatus too. I think I might take a break from Game of Thrones for a while. Perhaps do something else while we wait for the next season to commence.

73 notes


PlusFiveToBling replied to your post: Well, that’s it. 82 chapters, and almost 200,000 words, and I…

I’m not really in this fandom, but I just read that whole thing! Have you ever written about Thor?

Thor? As in the muscle-bound Norse deity? I can’t say that I have.


PlusFiveToBling replied to your post: PlusFiveToBling replied to your post: Well, that’s…

You might really like it. I don’t know what it’s really like where he’s from, but the fanon is a lot like how you wrote your GoT fic.

Perhaps I should look into this. Off to the A of Three Os!


Sassgardian:

PlusFiveToBling:

Sassgardian:

Well, I can honestly say I never expected to see half of what I just found in the superhero section.

Is that good or bad?

I find it surprising that people ship Thor and the Hulk. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.

          #that’s not all they ship #not sure if want


deconsecr8or:

Sassgardian:

PlusFiveToBling:

Sassgardian:

deconsecr8or:

Sassgardian:

So, part of New York exploded today. That’s a thing that happens sometimes.

that wouldn’t have anything to do with you being in new york today would it?

Loveable me? Of course not.

Oh my god, I heard about that. Are you okay? No exploding in Jersey today, thank goodness.

I was well away from it when it happened. But it’s all the people in my building are talking about. I thought New York was more accustomed to this sort of thing. You had to flatten half the town to upset people in Oklahoma.

thats because oklahomas hardcore


deconsecr8or:

bands got a show on saturday. ad&d friday night instead.

     Sassgardian replied to your post: I may be travelling. I’ll have my dice on hand just in case.


fishbreath replied to your post: bands got a show on saturday. ad&d friday night instead.

I need a ride. It’s a long walk from Asgardia and father won’t let me take the horse alone

what about gunnar?

     fishbreath replied to your post: No he’s in trouble for trying to hide a gryphon under his bed


Sassgardian:

LINK: What Happens in Vegas – Chapter 1 – Sassgardian – Superheroes (Fandom) [Archive of Our Own]

Chapters: 1
Fandom: Superheroes (Fandom)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Miss America/Hawkeye (Female)
Characters: Miss America, Hawkeye (Female)
Additional Tags: they do the kissing, and some other stuff, lots of other stuff
Summary:

The Young Avengers follow a shape-shifting supervillain to Las Vegas, but that is not the important part.

     PlusFiveToBling replied to your post: Oh hey, you’re posting superhero stuff! Maybe focus less on the exact size of their boobs next time though.

     deconsecr8or replied to your post: dude that was hot. will there be more?


Of Mice And Me – FFA Post #189

fandom gripes

Anonymous
Sassgardian’s taking a break from Game of Thrones. Good news for Game of Thrones fandom. Bad news for superhero RPF fandom.

 

Anonymous
Noooooo why

Anonymous
Oh thank fuck. Even a temporary respite from his wankery is enough to soothe my nerves.

 

Anonymous
What’s the big deal with him? I’m not into GoT, so I don’t know what makes him more special than any other wanker.

 

Anonymous
What, you mean aside from the fact that he goes into freaky detail about dragon dicks, and anyone who disagrees with his headcanon is Wrong, wrong wrong?

Anonymous
Like the anon above mentioned, he acts like he’s an irrefutable authority on worldbuilding, and even tends to criticise GRR Martin for his own worldbuilding. This is a pretty good example:

hxxp://sassgardian.tumblr.com/post/1153516

 

Anonymous
A writer of a particular genre should at least take care to research what they’re writing. I know this is not how he portrays dragons in his novels, and as such, they are not portrayed properly in the television show. In this instance, I am correct in going against canon. To adhere to canon would be irresponsible, and tantamount to spreading misinformation.

Oh my god, could this guy get any farther up his own ass?

 

Anonymous
You missed the best part, nonnie:

And trust me, you do not want to be standing anywhere nearby a pair of mating dragons. You’ll be scrubbing your hair out for a week.

Anonymous
It’s not just the dragons, although he is weirdly fixated on them, but he does this about everything. He also apparently thinks he is Tyrion, despite being like, six-foot-four.

 

Anonymous
Say what you will about his wankery, but his cosplays are fucking amazing, though. Check out his photo tag on his blog.

 

Anonymous
Holy shit, where does he get the money?

Anonymous
funny, with a name like sassgardian, i would have thought he’d already be in superhero RPF fandom.

Anonymous
Going by his cosplay, it looks like he already was. He just wasn’t writing fic for it yet.


NotTheHawkGuy asked LokiOfAsgard a question:

Loki, take it down. Please.


Sassgardian:

deconsecr8or:

Sassgardian:

PlusFiveToBling:

Sassgardian:

My first ever superhero fic got a take-down request. I offer my sincerest apologies, but they did ask nicely. It felt only right to comply.

You got a C&D request? I’ve been writing Avengers fic for like, a year. Nobody’s ever told me to take mine down.

I’m just lucky, I guess.

oh that sucks. does this mean you cant write any at all?

Perhaps no more Young Avengers. More’s the pity.


WitchDude:

LokiOfAsgard:

There’s a new diner by my apartment. They do breakfast all day. Who wants to come with?

Are you buying? If so, count us in.


NotTheHawkGuy replied to your post: There’s a new diner by my apartment. They do breakfast all…

Oh, you’re doing breakfast while I’m broke in LA?

We can come get you! Wait, why are you in LA?


Sassgardian asked PlusFiveToBling a question:

A small group of us are going out for breakfast tonight. If you can get up to Manhattan, you should stop by.

     PlusFiveToBling replied: I can’t. I’m not allowed to go anywhere, and if my parents caught me going to New York, they’d kill me.

 

 

Sassgardian asked PlusFiveToBling a question:

We can pick you up. Isn’t sneaking out supposed to be a rite of passage?

     PlusFiveToBling replied: Sorry, but I better not. Maybe in about ten years, when my parents start letting me talk to other people.

 

 

Sassgardian asked PlusFiveToBling a question:

Parents. Pains in the backside, more like.


For Asgardia! – Sassgardian – Superheroes (Fandom) – Archive of Our Own

Thor stared down the mighty beast, refusing to stand down. The giant stood before him, holding the telephone pole in his hand like a club. The giant would pay for that, Thor vowed. Those lines led to Broxton, and the people of Broxton were under his protection. Though it wanted nothing to do with the residents of the town, they were near enough to Asgardia to be in danger from the giant’s very presence.

“Stand down, creature,” Thor warned through gritted teeth. “Return whence you came, and no harm will come to you. You have my word.”

The giant grinned a sharp-toothed grin. It was all the warning Thor had before the creature swung his telephone pole, wires whipping around like enchanted snakes. Thor swung his hammer to take to the sky, but before he left the ground, the giant’s blow struck true. Thor was hurled far across the Oklahoma plain, carving a large gouge where he landed.

“Very well. Your death, then,” said Thor, and he hurled his hammer at the giant.

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