Loki wasted no time.  As soon as Thor left, Loki tore through everything until he found his breeches shoved under the bed.  He dressed quickly and fled back to his hall.  With the door locked behind him, he collapsed onto the floor, gasping for breath as the weight of everything crushed him.  He had no end of books and potions stored away, but none of them would help him.  He had never bothered to learn that magic.  He had never needed it.  He had never let men spend inside him, and always made sure he changed back to himself soon after so there was no reason to need that magic.

He needed to see a healer, but then he would have to explain himself, and for all his cunning and lies, he could think of no explanation he could offer that would not see him shamed and cast out.

Panic and fear and grief consumed him, and once the first tear fell from his eye, the rest followed in a torrent.  He wailed, his entire body racked and his throat raw.  He sobbed until he had no more energy left, and no more tears fell from his eyes.  Even once he fell into silence, he stayed there on the floor, his entire body burning from exhaustion.  He didn’t know how long he’d stayed there, and didn’t care.  Not until a pounding on the door rang through the hall, igniting his panic once more.  Loki turned to stare at the door behind him, terrified it might fall down from the assault upon it.

“I know you’re in there!” Thor shouted.

Of course it was Thor.  Who else would it be?  Loki stayed frozen on the ground while Thor pounded on the door again, sending a jolt through Loki’s entire body each time.

“I’ll break it down if I must!” Thor shouted from the other side.

Loki believed him.  As Thor slammed his fist against the door once more, Loki rose to his feet and unlocked it, cracking it open to face the creature that was no longer his brother on the other side.  Then, Thor forced his way in, and Loki reeled backwards, desperate to get away.  He said nothing as Thor stared at him, shaking his head as though somehow he had found Loki unworthy.

“Look at you,” Thor said.

Loki kept his jaw clenched tight, not knowing what he might do if he tried to speak.  He just stared right back at Thor, praying he had only come to mock.

“What does Mother have to say?” Thor asked.

Loki shook his head.  “Don’t,” he said, not even having the wits to consider what he might tell their mother.

Thor took a step closer, and Loki took a step back to get away, knowing then that Thor had come to do far more than just mock.

“What?  Are you going to hide in here forever?” Thor asked.  He stared hungrily at Loki, dragging his eyes down his entire body.  “You’ve not even been to a healer.”

Loki fought around another outpouring of grief.  “What would I say?” he asked, struggling to keep his voice even as he spoke.

“What, indeed?” asked Thor.  He took another step toward Loki, and Loki took another step back.  “A prince who spends his evenings on his back, getting fucked like a whore.  And now he’s pregnant like one.”

“Shut up,” Loki said, even as his throat grew tight.  “This never would have happened if not for you.”

Thor took one more step toward Loki, backing him against the wall.

“No,” Thor said, with a darkness in his voice that Loki had never imagined could come from him.  “This happened because of you.  These perversions of yours.”

“Mine?” Loki asked, knowing what came next and trying to ignore it.  “Mine?  You—You’re the one—”

He inhaled sharply and shook his head, desperate to keep himself under control.  Then, when Thor stepped close, he pressed their bodies together.   Loki had nowhere else to flee, and with Thor’s body so close to his, hard beneath his breeches, Loki knew he would break again.  Thor spoke of perversions, when he came into Loki’s hall wanting one thing, and one thing only.

“I’m the one whose child you carry,” Thor said, his words cutting through all of it.  “I’m the one who was minding my own business when you disguised yourself as a whore and came to me.”

Loki clenched his jaw against anything he might say, or any horrible sound he might make.  With Thor pressed so hard against him, all he could do was shake his head.

Then, Thor stepped back again.  “Get on the bed,” he said.

Loki looked up at him, trying to find a way out of this.  But there wasn’t one.  Thor had come with one desire, and he would get what he wanted one way or another.  Loki knew this.  He fought against his own tears as he stepped to the side and walked to the bed, though he could not bring himself to lay down and give in completely.  He expected Thor to shove him down, but instead, Thor stood close in front of him, unlacing his breeches.

“You were so eager for it the other night,” he said, pulling his cock free.

Somehow, this was worse, and Loki nearly wept.  He could only stare at Thor’s cock before him, hard and angry, but he could not make himself do as Thor commanded.  Then, Thor grabbed him by the hair and twisted his head so he was forced to look at Thor’s face, and the rage he wore on it.

“If I feel teeth, you will regret it,” Thor said.

Loki nodded, and Thor let him go.  He knew what Thor’s rage became when he did not get his way, and Loki did not think he would survive it.  He took a deep breath to steel himself before leaning to take Thor’s cock in his mouth, trying to imagine he was anyone else.  Loki was no stranger to this act, but when it was Thor inside him, his mind rebelled and his throat closed up, and all he could do was go through the motions.  He ignored Thor’s hands on his shoulders, working Thor’s cock with his tongue and his lips.  Suddenly, Thor took him by the hair again, but not to pull him away.  He held Loki where he wanted him, driving his cock deep into Loki’s throat.  The more Loki tried to fight for air, the more difficult Thor made it.  Then, he spilled his seed, filling the back of Loki’s throat with the sticky mess.  Only then did he let Loki go, stepping back as Loki turned and bent over to try to cough as much of it up before he choked on it.  Once he was able to breathe again, Loki glared back up, willing himself to stay silent despite his vision swimming with his own tears.

“If I find out you’ve seen a healer,” Thor said, quickly putting himself back together, “I’ll make sure all of Asgard knows whose seed you carry.”

Loki’s entire chest convulsed, but still he fought against it.

“Why?” he asked.

He still didn’t know, and that was the worst of it.

He didn’t move away, even as Thor grabbed him by the jaw.  Even though he wanted to scream and fling himself across the room.

“Because you belong to me now,” Thor said.  “And after I’ve made sure all of Asgard knows, I’ll make sure you take my seed again.”

Loki lost the battle to his tears, but he remained silent even as he could barely breathe.  He watched as Thor turned to leave, waiting until the door was closed between them to let escape the choking sobs that had built up within him.  With his mouth covered to muffle himself, Loki fell onto the bed, crying tears he hadn’t left to cry.  After he once again wore himself out, Loki stayed on the bed, but he did not sleep at all that night.  He kept his gaze locked to the door, waiting for Thor to return.  But Thor did not return again, and Loki dared to think Thor had come only to make a point, and that was the end of it.

He wanted to bathe.  He wanted to change his clothes.  He did neither, barely able to move.  When he did finally move, he made it as far as the sofa, where he stayed motionless and silent.  He didn’t look up when he heard the door open once more, nor as footsteps approached.  But when Thor dropped his hands onto Loki’s shoulders, it sent a sharp pain through his entire body.  A sharp pain that cut through his very soul.

“I can take you here, or I can take you on the bed,” Thor said.

This was it.  Thor had said every night, and he meant it.  Loki was so tired, he didn’t have the energy to resist.  With a deep breath, he got to his feet and made his way over to the bed, getting only as far as sitting down on the edge once more.  When Thor came to him, dragging across the bed, Loki’s entire body went limp.  He could do nothing, even as Thor pulled his breeches off and forced his way between Loki’s legs. 

“Nobody will ever have you again,” Thor said, as he drew his fingers over Loki’s cunt.

The intrusion drew a sharp inhale from Loki, but he didn’t move.  He stared up at the ceiling, his only hope that Thor would be quick and leave him again.  Instead, Thor pressed his fingers inside, invading him with a mockery of intimacy.  Loki was too numb to even flinch at it.  He let Thor have his fun, staying still and silent even as Thor tried to tease.  When he drew his hands away, it was only a brief reprieve before Thor was on top of him, forcing his cock inside, tearing Loki inside.  It burned, but Loki fought back against his tears.  He fought back against the screams welling up in his chest.  He lay still as Thor draped his entire body over him, drawing out the pain.  Loki’s entire body heaved as he resisted everything within him, even as tears fell from his eyes.  He bit his lip to keep from screaming through the horror, even as Thor kissed and nibbled his skin.  Then, Thor tried to kiss his mouth, and once more his chest heaved so hard it hurt.

“You’re mine,” Thor said, fucking him languidly.  “I’ll have you every night.”

Loki lost his battle, and with one more hitch of his chest, he began sobbing once more.  He still tried to bite back against it, even as Thor spilled inside him again.  Not that it mattered, Loki knew.  The damage had already been done.

When Thor rolled off of him, he didn’t disappear into the night.  He held Loki close, invading his body still.  Loki let himself cry, no longer able to stop any of it, and it was only after he had once more run himself dry that Thor got up and left him alone.  Numb and exhausted, Loki finally fell asleep right there, naked at the waist, before Thor was even out of the room.

When he woke, he had no idea what time of day it was.  Again, he wanted to bathe.  Again, he wanted to change his clothes.  Again, he made it only as far as putting his breeches back on and sitting the sofa.  And again, some time later, Thor returned, dropping his hands onto Loki’s shoulders.  He stiffened as Thor drew his hand over Loki’s neck, a painful reminder of other ways Thor could hurt him.

“Here, then?” Thor asked.

Loki shook his head.  He couldn’t do this.  “Please, no,” he said.

He knew at once it was the wrong answer.  Thor was almost immediately in front of him, grabbing both his wrists and pulling him to his feet.  Loki found the energy to fight back, trying to wrench himself from Thor’s grip.

“I don’t recall asking,” Thor said.

He fought back against Loki, able to hold both his wrists in one of his hands.  Using his free hand, Thor unlaced Loki’s breeches even as he fought and kicked to keep him away.  Thor pulled Loki’s breeches down, exposing him.  Loki knew it was hopeless, but still he fought back, throwing everything he had into it even as Thor wrestled him back onto the sofa and over the arm.

“No!” Loki shouted.

Thor shoved him further, so his ass was in the air, and his face nearly pressed against the floor, forcing him to use his strength to hold himself up, rather than fight back.  Thor pulled Loki’s breeches away entirely, but still he kicked and thrashed, doing everything he could to keep Thor away from him.

“You never learn,” Thor said.

He pressed Loki against the sofa, and suddenly he was once more inside Loki, forcing his way in with one single, agonising motion.  Loki screamed through the pain, knowing his hall was still warded, and that nobody would hear him.  He fought and cried, even as Thor fucked him, once more tearing him apart with an intensity that burned.  Nothing Loki did was enough.  He couldn’t scream loud enough, thrash hard enough, kick fast enough.  Thor was still there, holding him down and filling him with a cock that was too big to take.  The pain was so great, Loki couldn’t even form words.  He could only scream like a wild animal, tears once more running down his face.

Thor finished loudly, and then held Loki against his cock so he could feel it throbbing inside him.  By then, Loki had lost the energy to fight back.  He still wailed, Thor buried inside him, because it was all he could do.  Even as Thor began to soften, Loki still felt the burn within him.  It was a burn that would never go away.

“Next time, you’ll do as I say, when I say it,” Thor said.

Then, he drove his cock into Loki once more.  It was too soft inside him to press deep, but still Loki gasped at the roughness Thor was capable of even in this state.  He nodded, still unable to speak, and Thor let him go.  Loki collapsed, barely able to hold himself up before he crashed into the floor.  It was like that Thor left him, exposed and in position to be mounted once more.  And it was like that Loki stayed for a long while, crying and heaving until finally he regained control of himself. 

This time when he got up, he made it to the bath chamber.  Water still filled the bath, and though it was cold, Loki took off his tunic.  He stayed in the cold water letting it soothe his aching muscles.  It had been days since he had eaten, but he didn’t dare call for a servant.  He didn’t dare show his face at banquet.  So when he got out of the bath, he dressed only in a short shift and returned to bed to sleep.

The sound of the door opening woke him, and as Thor crawled into his bed, Loki rolled over onto his back.  He had nothing left to fight with, and nothing left to fight for.  Even as Thor lifted his shift and crawled on top of him, Loki lay still.  Even with Thor’s cock pressed against the inside of Loki’s thigh, he made no sound.

“You had better make an appearance,” Thor said, his face close to Loki’s.  “Rumours are spreading, and soon someone will come looking for you.”

Loki hissed inwardly, not even wanting to think about what he was supposed to do.  He wanted to disappear and never be seen again.

“It seems all of Asgard will know regardless,” Thor said.

Loki covered his mouth, fighting against a rising agony he had not even prepared for.  Then, Thor forced his cock inside, and Loki screamed from the intrusion on his body.  No matter how many times Thor did this, it was always a searing, burning pain.  It didn’t matter whether Loki fought back or allowed Thor to have his way.  He trembled and sobbed as Thor fucked him slowly, kissing his skin as though he thought this were love.  Loki hadn’t the energy to fight back, but he had the energy to scream, so that’s what he did.

“Your cunt’s so perfect,” Thor said, his breath hot and heavy against Loki’s skin.  “I know you made it for me.”

Still sobbing, Loki tried to push Thor off of him, but he was far too exhausted to make a difference.  Nothing he did mattered.  Nothing he did would ever matter again.  Then, Thor stopped making love and started fucking him, driving himself faster and harder, and the pain became unbearable.  Loki still screamed and wailed as Thor spilled inside him and held their bodies together.  He still cried as Thor rolled off him and put himself together.  He still sobbed as Thor left his hall.  This had become Loki’s fate, forever tortured by a beast that wore his brother’s fate.  He would waste away into nothing, and no one would know what had become of him.

He saw only one way out, and that was through Frigga.  She was the only person in all of Asgard Loki knew he could trust, and to free himself from this prison he would have to break his mother’s heart.  Loki waited until morning before dressing, but nothing felt appropriate.  Coming to her in a gown felt perverse, but nothing else fit him.  Choosing to look sloppy over the alternative, he dressed in a tunic and breeches that were too big.  None of his boots fit him, so he chose to go barefoot.  Perhaps if he looked pathetic and desperate enough, it would curry more sympathy for him, making it easier for her to cast her other son aside.

But when he went to visit her, Frigga was gone.  She was not in her chambers, nor her gardens, nor even hanging around Odin.  She was gone.  She had left the realm, and Loki was running out of time.  His only other option was their father, and he knew that would not go well.  Worse, Thor followed him like a dark shadow.  But Loki was running out of time, and he needed to do something.  He waited until after banquet, when Odin would be the least occupied, and tried to approach him then.  But as he entered the throne room, Loki was made sick to see Thor still by his side.

“What the hel are you doing here?” Thor demanded.

Loki faltered in his step, already knowing he had lost.  He did not know what Thor’s plan was, but he didn’t need to know.  Whatever Thor had done, it was too late to stop.

“Father,” Loki said, hoping to at least soften the blow for himself.

He could see the outrage in Odin before he even spoke.

“Loki?” Thor said, his voice a sharp bark that made Loki want to flee.  “What twisted joke is this?”

“I—”  Loki stepped back, unsure how to continue with Thor leading the situation.

He stared at the two of them, trying desperately to find a way out, but the only thought in his mind was terror.  Then, Thor strode toward him, pointing one of his brutish fingers right in Loki’s face.

“He came to me,” Thor said.

Loki stepped backwards, trying to get away.  He did not think Thor would do anything horrific to him with their father right there, but he did not want to be in the same space as Thor for a second longer than he needed to be.

“He came like this to my bed.  I’m a fool for not seeing it,” Thor said.

Loki could see Odin rising to unbridled fury at the story Thor had presented.  Coming to Odin had been a mistake.

“Is this true?” Odin said, his voice echoing off the walls.

Loki tried to find his voice.  He tried to argue.  Even as tears once more welled in his eyes, he tried to find the strength to claw his way out of this.  Instead, with no other ideas, he nodded.  He had never been one to easily feel shame, but in that moment it consumed him.

“Oh, don’t you say it,” Thor said suddenly.  He looked at Loki with disgust, and stepped away.  “Even for you, this is low.  You came to me, and now you’re with child?  Is that what this is?”

Loki shook his head, but it was clear whose story Odin had already chosen to believe.  The evidence was overwhelmingly in Thor’s favour, and only a fool would think otherwise.

“And what excuse have you?” Odin asked, turning his rage to Thor.

Loki should have been glad that Thor would be punished as well.  But he knew better than to hope.  Hope had got him nowhere so far, and he had long since given up on it.  Even as Thor huffed and had the gall to look indignant, Loki knew this was somehow part of the plan.

“I’d never thought I’d need to ask every whore I bed if she were my brother, in disguise,” Thor said.

Loki wanted to argue; to insist it had gone differently.  But he knew the truth.  He’d had other options.  And like a fool, he had gone to Thor.  There would be no soothing Odin’s rage, so he stayed silent.  If he said nothing, his punishment might have been less than if he argued and shouted back.

“It’s Thor’s child you carry?” Odin asked, his stare carrying the weight of the entire realm.  “You’re certain of it.”

Loki looked to Thor, still uncertain what trap he had fallen into, and nodded all the same.  Thor had done this to him, though Loki didn’t know whose punishment would be the worst.  Their father had never been very predictable, especially when driven by anger.

“Well, the matter is simple,” Odin said, and Loki knew right then that his life was over.  “You’ll wed.”

“No!” Loki shouted, drowned out by Thor’s, “What?”

“You can’t!” Thor shouted.  He pointed back at Loki, as the entire world collapsed around him.  “You make me no better than him!”

Loki could barely breathe.  He knew Odin would be cruel, but this was beyond cruelty.  Odin had to know what he was condemning Loki to.  Loki was certain of it.

“You will wed,” Odin said.  “And quickly.  And the child will be your heir.”

“No!” Loki shouted again, barely able to breathe.  “I won’t!”

“You will!” Odin shouted right back.  He took a deep breath, drawing silence over the three of them.  “You will, or you will both be cast out of Asgard.”

Loki collapsed, no longer able to hold himself up.  All of Asgard would know.  And if Loki chose to hide his shame, he would be cast out with Thor, alone, to his mercy.  And Loki had long since learned mercy was not within Thor’s abilities.

“You would truly punish me for his perversion?” Thor asked.

“As you said, you were a fool not to see it,” Odin said.  He shook his head and waved his hand into the air.  “Now out of my sight.  Both of you.”

Trembling so hard he thought he might be sick, Loki watched Thor stride angrily out of the room.  Alone with his father, Loki shook his head and looked up at him, hoping to plead his case.

“You can’t.  Please,” he said.  “Anything else.  Not him.”

He could see then, in the way Odin’s disgust was plainly written across his face, that he knew exactly what he had decided.

“Tell me,” said Odin.  “How long have you two been disgracing me behind my back?”

Loki shook his head.  Had it been his choice, he’d have had no part of any of it.

“Thor is a fool if he expects me to believe he would not recognise his own brother, even like this,” Odin said, looking down at Loki with plain outrage and disgust.  “But not as much of a fool as you, if you expect me to believe he didn’t already know you carry his child.  I ask again.  How long?”

Loki took a deep breath, but he could not answer that question.  He bit his lip, wishing Odin had asked any other question, and looked to the floor.

“Months,” he said.  “I don’t know exactly.  He put something in my wine, and I’d wake with him in my bed.”

He dared to look up at Odin, but his words seemed to hold no sway whatsoever.

“The way Thor tells it, you went to his bed,” Odin said.  “Is this the truth?”

Loki looked back down at the floor.  He knew he could lie and deny it, but it was clear Odin already did not believe him.

“As I thought,” Odin said.  “You disgust me.  Leave, now.”

He turned his back on Loki, and without the weight of his stare upon him, Loki found the strength to rise to his feet and flee.  By then, Thor was already gone, which was the one small mercy he had been granted.  Loki ran to his hall, once more locking himself inside.  He would wait for Frigga to return from wherever she had gone.  And when she did, he would appeal to her.  He would tell her the full truth of what had happened between him and Thor, and he would be free of this nightmare.

He expected Thor to follow him to his chambers, but when Thor did not arrive, it came of little relief.  Odin had seen right through Thor’s lies, and Thor would only punish Loki for it.  Thor was waiting, and he would grow frustrated and impatient from waiting, and he would take that frustration out on Loki.  He knew it.

That night, Loki concealed himself and left his hall.  He thought he might flee anyway, but he knew Thor would follow him.  And if Thor followed him, Loki would have no one left to protect him.  He would not be able to find the magic or the potion he needed to undo what had been done.  He knew Thor would drag him off somewhere and keep him isolated and alone, using and abusing his body until it broke completely.  On Asgard, Thor would at least be held accountable to a degree.  There would be expectations, and under those expectations, Loki would at least have some freedom until he could find a way to escape.

So he didn’t flee.  He went to the kitchens instead, to eat for the first time since he had escaped Thor’s chambers.

Thor did not come to him the next night, either.  When his door opened on the third night, Loki prepared for a fight.  But it was not Thor who entered, but Odin.  And somehow, that was worse.  Loki sat up from his spot on the sofa, staring at his father, and daring to hope he had changed his mind.  For a long moment, Odin looked around the hall, and slowly, that hope vanished.

“Who would recognise you in this form?” Odin asked.

Loki shook his head.  “No one,” he said, now confident it was true.

Odin nodded once, and with a finality that punched Loki in the stomach.

“Good,” he said.  “Then it’s settled.  As far as Asgard is concerned, Loki is a wanted criminal.  Should he show his face within this realm, he will be arrested immediately.”

Loki didn’t understand.  He shook his head, desperately trying to follow.

“For what crime?” he asked.

“Murder,” Odin said.  “The son of a jarl.”

Loki suddenly understood, and wished he hadn’t.

“As a blood price, his daughter is to wed Thor, and their son will be heir to Asgard’s throne,” Odin said.

Loki stared at him, unable to comprehend the depths of his father’s cruelty.  He shook his head, desperately trying to find words to defend his case.

“Father,” he said.

“You are no longer my son,” Odin said, somehow sinking even further.  “You are no longer of Asgard.  Tomorrow, you will wed Thor, and spare us all this indignity.  Once the child is born, you will hand it to a nursemaid and leave this realm, never to return.  Have I made myself clear?”

Loki nodded, feeling an all-too familiar tightness in his chest and his throat.

“Yes,” he said.  “What about Mother?”

His question only served to further incite Odin’s anger, and Loki flinched beneath the weight of it.

“Your mother will know nothing of this,” Odin said, his voice sharp like a whip.  “You will not burden her with the knowledge that the sons she raised have become such grave disappointments.”

Again, Loki nodded.

“I have no more patience for you,” Odin said.  “Do not test me further.”

“Anyone else,” Loki said, trying one more time to save himself.  “Please.  Not Thor.”

Odin stared at him for a long moment, a hardness about him that Loki had never seen before. 

“No,” he said after a long moment.  “I believe this decision is quite final.  Keep this hall if you like.  I’ll grant you that mercy.”

With that, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving Loki alone with his thoughts.  Even if he did go to Frigga now, there was nothing she could do that would not defy Odin’s command.  Frigga was his mother, but Odin was king above all.

Loki wondered why he was ever surprised that Thor could be so cruel, when their father was even worse.  Worse still, it was clear Odin knew more than he was letting on.  Odin knew exactly what he was condemning Loki to, and had been perfectly willing to sacrifice him to keep Thor distracted.  Loki was a convenient solution to every one of Odin’s problems with Thor, and now he wouldn’t have to worry about Thor tarnishing his reputation any further.

Handmaids arrived early the next morning to dress Loki and present him with gifts from wedding guests.  Fine combs and gowns were piled on his bed, only serving to make real all that was happening.  He wept while his hair was done in braids, with ribbons and beads of silver, and once his face was dry his eyes were painted to hide the fact that he had been crying all morning.  The handmaids offered little in the way of reassurances, and Loki wondered how many of Thor’s so-called whores were maids and servants he had trapped and raped before turning his sights on Loki.  He wondered how many of them Odin had known about, and how many of Thor’s bastards had been sold off to the Einherjar to avoid complicating matters further.  He wondered how many women Thor had drugged and dragged off to some hidden pantry; how many he had beaten until they submitted.  Loki’s thoughts lingered on that very first time Thor had followed him back to his hall, and the terrifying lack of restraint or remorse his brother had shown.

And he clearly wasn’t the only one who knew Thor was like this.  If anything, he was somehow the last to know.  Instead of reassurances, Loki got advice, warning him that he might find an easier time in allowing Thor to do as he pleased.

As if he didn’t already know.

He nearly crumbled at the vows, barely bringing himself to say the words.  But he looked to Odin, and knew that if he did not do this, he would not survive what came next.  Odin wouldn’t kill him.  He’d be cast out along with Thor, and Thor would kill him.  So he said the words, and allowed himself to be dragged off and paraded before Asgard as Thor’s new bride.  At banquet, he slipped a knife off the table, hiding it away for later.  Beside him, he could feel Thor’s irritation with the charade growing stronger, until he finally rose and dragged Loki from the hall and to his chambers.

Loki hated these rooms.  He hated the memories in them, and the man who lived there.  As Thor shut the door between them and the men who had followed them through the corridors, Loki felt some relief that this would at least not happen with an audience.  At least not an audience who would see them, though he expected no help even if they did linger to listen.

“Finally,” Thor said.  “No more games.”

Loki shook his head, not thinking he’d be able to do what he needed to.  “Please.  No,” he said.

Thor backed him against the bed, and he knew there was nothing left to do.  He let Thor undress him, standing still as his gown fell down his body and to the floor.  He stood still as Thor pawed at his tits, and dragged his hand over his skin.  He hissed silently as Thor drew a hand over his ass, trying to brace for the worst.

He watched Thor undress quickly, his cock already standing hard.  The sight of it made Loki’s stomach collapse, and he quickly looked away from it.

“You so recently begged to ride it, and now you’re playing coy?” Thor asked.

He used his entire body to push Loki into his back, and climbed over him.  Despite every part of his being wanting to scream and fight back, Loki went along with him, taking the advice he already knew.  Even as Thor mounted him, driving himself deep, Loki forced himself to remain still and silent despite the pain.  Once more, Thor rode him as though he thought he was making love, slow and languid, as he kissed and nipped at Loki’s skin.  When Thor kissed his mouth, Loki let him, fighting against the urge to vomit at the intrusion of Thor’s tongue.

It was too much.  He couldn’t do this.  He couldn’t lie back and allow his life to end like this.  He conjured the knife and moved quickly, driving the blade deep into Thor’s side.  Thor sat up quickly, his face bright red, and Loki knew at once he had made a mistake.  He got ready to fight back as he watched Thor glare at the knife in his side.  He wasn’t sure whether he should flee, or to start throwing kicks and punches, but he didn’t get the chance to figure it out.  Thor struck him hard across the face, knocking his teeth together and making his vision explode with white.  Loki fell against the bed, groaning as he tried to regain his senses as he heard the knife fall to the floor.  Then, Thor struck him once more, and was inside him again.  Hazy and dazed, Loki tried to fight back as Thor drove him into the bed, throwing his entire weight into making Loki hurt.  Loki scratched with his nails and kicked his feet, but Thor hardly seemed to notice.

“Why won’t you learn?” Thor grunted, his voice strained from his efforts.

“I hate you!” Loki said.

He dug his nails into Thor’s face, and Thor responded by striking him once more.  As Loki tried to regain his wits, Thor pinned his wrists to the bed and rode him even harder.  Loki responded by throwing everything he had into fighting back, even though he knew he had lost.  He screamed and thrashed, even as Thor spilled inside him, keeping him pinned to the bed.

“Get off of me,” Loki said, his jaw so tight he thought his teeth might crack.

Thor drove himself into Loki once more, sending a searing hot jolt of pain through him, and Loki could not hold back the scream that escaped him.  He breathed through his teeth, trying to recover from it, and stared at Thor’s face above him.  He knew Thor would only hurt him more, but Loki spat in his face anyway.  Once more, Thor struck him across the face so hard, it nearly knocked the thought from Loki’s mind.  He groaned again, rolling over as Thor finally got off of him.  He picked up the knife from the floor and sneered at it, before turning his sneer to Loki.

“Next time, I won’t be so forgiving,” Thor said.

Loki could hear him leave, and tried to gather his wits to get up and flee.  But he knew those wretched onlookers would be outside the door still.  He knew they had heard him scream as Thor once again beat and raped him.  The thought of facing them was just as bad as the thought of staying where he was.  Instead, he sat up, drawing his knees close to his chest, and waited for Thor to return.  When he did, Thor glared at him as he pulled his tunic back on, and moved to stretch out on the sofa.

“Go ahead.  Leave,” Thor said.  “We both know you want to.  After all, isn’t that what whores do?”

Loki inhaled deeply, holding his tongue against what he’d wanted to say.  He’d taken his fair share of whores, and plenty had stayed in his bed through the night.  But Loki never beat them.  Loki never held them down until they screamed.  Thor didn’t take whores.  He was a monster, and Loki knew then that everyone knew it.  Somehow, Loki was indeed the last to know it.

Loki watched as Thor drifted off into a light sleep, and wished he had saved his blade until then.  If he was to be wanted for murder anyway, it might as well have been Thor.  But he had squandered his opportunity, and he knew he might never get another one.  He knew Thor wouldn’t sleep heavily, and would wake the moment Loki got to his feet.

He allowed himself to weep quietly, in the dull light of the single lamp that lit the room.  He stayed quiet as he watched Thor rouse again, and watched as he got back to his feet.

“No,” Loki said, trying to back away from him.

Thor grabbed him by the ankle and pulled him back down along the bed, forcing Loki onto his back once more.

“Damnit, no!” Loki shouted, swinging his fists as Thor crawled into bed with him.

Thor grabbed his wrists, again pinning him to the bed as he forced his way between Loki’s knees.  Loki hated how easily Thor was able to overpower him.  He hated how easily Thor was able to drive him to helplessness.  He continued to fight back, even as Thor once more mounted him, driving his cock into his abused body.  The pain never got better.  If anything, it got worse, and Loki shrieked as it lit up his entire body.  He thrashed beneath Thor, even as Thor once more took him slowly.  He felt Thor’s tongue once more on his skin and thrashed even harder, letting himself cry and wail and not caring if anyone heard.  But nothing he did made a difference.  Thor kept him pinned to the bed, his cock buried so deep, the only sensation Loki knew was pain.

“There’s no point in fighting,” Thor said, trying to force his way close to Loki’s neck.  “You’ve nothing to gain.”

“You’ll fucking die for this,” Loki said, his voice choked and strained.

Thor bit hard on his neck, making him scream once more.

“You keep saying that,” Thor said.  “But we both know it’s not true.”

He continued to fuck Loki, slowly, languidly, taking his time while Loki wore himself out.  Soon, he barely had the energy to cry, much less to fight and thrash, and it was then he finally gave in.  Thor slowed even further, drawing himself out for what felt like hours.  He kissed Loki’s mouth again, forcing his tongue deep inside, while he freed one hand to draw his nails down Loki’s body.  Loki completely gave up.  He had nothing to gain, and he knew it.  Thor had planted his seed, and Odin had chained them together, and nothing would change that.  No amount of fighting back would undo what was done.  All that was left was to survive.

Thor took his time, keeping his cock inside Loki for so long, his entire body trembled from the pain.  Thor burned inside him, drawing a deep ache through his entire body.  When he finally picked up pace, Loki hated the relief that washed over him.  The pain increased, but it meant Thor was finally done with him.  He shouted as he spilled inside Loki, and finally rolled off.  Loki stayed where he was, waiting to be certain Thor was done with him.  When Thor rolled over and settled beneath the blankets, Loki rolled in the other direction, putting his back to Thor’s. 

He wanted to leave, but he didn’t know whether the crowd outside still lingered, or whether Odin expected him to behave accordingly for the wedding night.  Against everything, Loki settled beneath the blankets and once more allowed himself to weep until exhaustion finally took him and he fell asleep. 

He woke to Thor’s cock once more buried deep inside him, Thor pinning him on his side and holding their bodies close together.  Thor clearly noticed him wake, and he tightened his grip around Loki, holding him even closer.  But Loki stayed sill and silent as Thor took him, once more taking the advice he already knew to be true.  Again, Thor took his time, seemingly taking hours before he finally got up, leaving Loki alone on the bed.  Loki lay right where he was, still unmoving, even as Thor dressed and left.  He waited until he knew Thor was gone before he dared to dress as well, and flee back to his own hall.  The hall that now belonged not to Loki, but to the woman Odin had invented; weregild for a murdered brother who never existed.

Thor had said he would take Loki every night, and it was no surprise when he arrived in Loki’s hall later that evening.  Loki knew it would be easier to let Thor have his way, but as soon as Thor approached him, he couldn’t stop himself from fighting back.  Even as Thor dragged him to the bed and forced himself into Loki’s cunt once more, Loki kicked and screamed and thrashed until the very end.  But this time, he had nowhere safe to flee.  After Thor rolled off of him and went to sleep, Loki was trapped in the bed with him until he left again in the morning.

When Loki could stomach the thought, he made things easier on himself and met Thor in his chambers and allowed him to have his way.  For the most part, he made Thor come to him, and then he fought with everything he had left.  But each night ended exactly the same, with Thor on top of him, and Loki helplessly crying beneath him.  He tried to hide, but that went even worse.  He had hidden chambers throughout the palace, and Thor managed to find every one of them.  When he did, he fought Loki to the ground, fucking him without mercy on the stone floor like an animal.

But Thor always found him in private, so Loki hid in the library.  He thought with even the few people around, Thor wouldn’t dare show his true self.  But Loki got too lost into his own research, and didn’t notice when the library emptied.  It wasn’t until he heard footsteps approaching that Loki looked up into the darkness around him and realised his error.

“Get away,” Loki said, feeling more trapped than ever.

Thor grabbed him, pulling him from his seat.  Loki fought back, determined to go a single night without having to suffer Thor’s company.

“Here, then,” Thor said, as he pushed Loki against the table.

“No!” Loki shouted.

He fought even harder, realising then that a public space wasn’t even enough to keep him safe.  He fought even as Thor wrestled him onto his back, dropping his candle and books onto the floor.  As they were plunged into near total darkness, Loki was overcome with terror.

“No!” he screamed, fighting back even as Thor climbed onto the table with him.

He tried to keep his legs locked together, but Thor pried them apart and forced himself between Loki’s knees.  With one arm pressed against Loki’s chest, he held him down with his entire weight, while he used his other hand to pull Loki’s gown up.  Still kicking and thrashing, Loki tried to keep himself covered, even as he felt Thor’s cock brush against his bare flesh.

“Stop it!” he shouted, horrified at knowing he was powerless to stop this.  “Stop!  No!”

“You chose this,” Thor said.

He wrenched the gown away and forced himself in once more.  Without a chance to recover from Thor’s attacks, the pain was unbearable.  Loki wailed and shrieked into the darkness, still trying to fight Thor off of him.  But he could feel his body giving into the pain, trying to shut down completely.

Then, Thor stilled suddenly, and Loki tried once more to shove him off.

“Who’s there?” a voice in the darkness called out.

Loki tried to scream for help, but Thor struck him hard across the face, dazing him into silence.

“Get out!” Thor shouted.

There was a tense silence before Loki heard the footsteps retreating, and he wailed until his lungs burned.  Nobody would save him.  Nobody would stop Thor, even when he exposed himself so blatantly.  Loki couldn’t even fight back after the indignity.  He screamed and howled, hot tears streaming down his face as Thor finished what he had come for.  Even as Thor got up, Loki stayed on the table, trembling and heaving and exposed while he screamed into the darkness.

No one would save him.  He was truly alone, and as Loki cried, alone on a library table, he knew there wasn’t a soul in Asgard who wasn’t aware of what transpired every evening.

Even worse, Loki wasn’t quick enough to flee.  He was still on the table, exposed and sobbing, when one of the librarians found him.  She did him the dignity of saying nothing as she helped put him back together, getting him to his feet and taking him back to the relative safety of his hall.  Loki knew he could have stayed on the table all night, his gown pulled up, nobody would have dared touch him, if only to avoid Thor’s wrath.  At the same time, and worst of all of it, he knew now with certainty Thor could have bent him over the table in the banquet hall, and nobody would have lifted a finger to stop him.

Thor was a monster.  The whole realm knew it, and had happily sacrificed Loki to him.

The following day, Thor didn’t even wait until Loki had a chance to disappear.  He found him at banquet, with a cup of wine in his hand.  As he sat it down and pressed it into Loki’s hand, Loki looked at it and wondered if this was better.

“Which is it?” he asked.

“You’ll have to drink and find out,” Thor said.

Loki decided that both options were terrible, but either better than what Thor would do to him if he refused.  He drank the entire cup, swallowing the wine without even tasting it, and slammed the cup onto the table.  Rather than sit and wait for the inevitable, he got up and walked through the palace to Thor’s bed, preferring to lose his sanity there rather than in his own hall.  He sat on the edge of the bed, glaring at the floor while he waited for Thor’s drug to take hold.  But Thor was impatient, and was on him at once.

“Get off me, you bastard,” Loki said, trying to move away.

Thor did not get off him, and despite everything, Loki still fought against him as Thor wrestled him onto his back.  He fought as Thor held him down an lifted his skirts.  He fought as Thor entered him, bringing more pain and humiliation.  He fought until his arms and legs grew too heavy to move, and his mind too foggy to think clearly.  He tried to shout, but all that came out was a pathetic whine.  Thor hadn’t given him enough to put him to sleep, keeping him awake and aware, but unable to fight back any longer.  But the drug also eased the pain, so Loki had less reason to fight back, and soon he gave in completely as Thor pawed over his body and licked his skin.

“Isn’t this nice?” Thor said, his breath hot on Loki’s neck.  “Isn’t this what you want?”

Loki whined, no longer fighting against Thor, but his own body.  Without the pain, Thor was able to tease something from him, and soon he was fighting back against his own lust.  Thor was watching him, and Loki couldn’t bear to see it as his body rose shamefully to the abuse.  He closed his eyes and resisted as long as he could, holding himself back until he could resist no longer.  He gasped loudly as release crashed over him, and hated himself for it.  He hated Thor and the way he laughed quietly.

“See?” Thor said.  “We don’t have to play these games.”

Loki shook his head.  “Never,” he said.

Thor drove into him deeply, cutting right through the drug and sending a jolt of pain through Loki.  He cried out, barely able to breathe from it.

“Or have I misunderstood?” Thor asked.

He pulled himself out almost completely, and then drove deep again, sending another jolt through Loki.

“Is this how you prefer it?” Thor asked.

Once more, he pulled himself out and drove deep again, and once more Loki cried out from it.

“No!” he said, gasping.

But Thor didn’t stop.  He pulled out again, drove back in, pulled out again, drove back in.  Loki couldn’t fight back.  He couldn’t stop it.  He cried out as tears fell from his eyes, knowing only pain.  He tried to fight back, but Thor was relentless, and soon all Loki could do was tremble beneath him.  Finally, Thor lost control of himself and spilled inside Loki, and that was the end of it.  He rolled off, keeping Loki in his arms as he settled on the bed.  Loki couldn’t move against him, forced close to Thor even then.  He kept himself as quiet as he could, not wanting to show any more weakness than he already had.  He knew it made no difference, but still he resisted. 

Thor fell asleep, holding their bodies together like that.  His breeches were unlaced and his cock exposed, pressed against Loki’s exposed thigh.  Loki hated it.  It was all he could focus on, even as his emotions numbed.  Eventually, Loki regained control of his body, and he slipped away from Thor’s grip, fleeing back to his hall before Thor could wake and get started all over again.

The following evening, Thor returned to Loki’s side at banquet, and once more pressed a cup of wine into his hand.  Once more, Loki drank, and went with Thor to his chambers.  This became their nightly routine, though sometimes Thor would change things.  Loki always fought against it, for as long as he could, though the nights Thor put him completely to sleep were always the easiest.  Those were the nights he had the worst nightmares, but he preferred the nightmares to his waking reality.  On the nights Thor didn’t give him enough, Loki fought back with everything he had.  And every night, as soon as he regained control of himself, Loki fled, refusing to share Thor’s bed for a second longer than he had to.

But Thor was a monster who grew tired of routine, and soon he changed it again.  When he came to Loki at banquet, it was not with a cup of wine.  Loki saw the two empty cups in his hand, and watched as he grabbed a pitcher from the table.  Thor was planning something different, and Loki could not yet figure out what.

“Make things difficult if you must,” Thor said.

Loki looked up and sighed, knowing exactly what the unspoken threat was.  Make things difficult, and he would be raped right there in front of everyone.  After that night in the library, Loki far preferred the small dignity of at least being raped in seclusion.  He got up and followed Thor to his chambers, surprised when Thor did not immediately throw him onto the bed, instead leading him to the table.

“Sit,” Thor said.

Loki sat, watching him put the pitcher down, and retreat to a far corner of the room.  Even with his back turned to Loki, it soon became clear what he was doing.  He opened a crate, and Loki could see him pull a vial from within.  He had never dared search Thor’s chambers, but now he didn’t have to.  He knew right where Thor kept his potions.  Thor turned, clearly seeing Loki watching him, and returned with both cups.  He filled the cups from the pitcher, and then placed them both down on the table before Loki.

“Take your pick,” he said.

Loki only then realised what Thor intended, and he knew right then, he would not survive the night if he picked the wrong cup.

“Please no,” he said.  “Not this.”

“Take your pick, or I will,” Thor said.

Biting his lip against the urge to scream, Loki looked at the cups before him.  Praying he picked the cup that had been drugged, Loki picked one up and gingerly drank from it.  But Thor wouldn’t let him take such a small amount, and he tipped the cup back, forcing Loki to drink all of it, or else spill it down his front and face Thor’s ire.  He drank, and put the cup back on the table, watching as Thor picked up the other and emptied it.  Thor dropped his cup to the table and sat down across from Loki, staring at him with a grim face.  Loki didn’t know how quickly the drug worked, but he slowly realised he had picked the wrong cup.  He knew the mad desperation the drug caused, and he knew Thor would take his frustrations out with his fists.  Loki had barely survived the drug in his true form.  Shifting to this wretched form was the only way he had made it through the night.  Thor did not have that luxury.  Thor would be driven mad, and Loki would pay the price.

“No,” Loki said, shaking his head.  “Please.  I’m begging you.”

Thor got to his feet and took one long stride toward Loki, grabbing him by the arm before Loki could even react.  Thor dragged him across the floor and threw him down onto the bed.  Loki froze, watching Thor pull down his breeches.

“Get over here,” Thor said.

Loki couldn’t move, too paralysed with fear at what he saw before him.  Thor grabbed him by his hair, wrenching him around on the bed, and pulling him close so his face was pressed against the side of Thor’s cock.

“Take it,” Thor said.

Loki nodded.  If he refused or fought back, Thor would murder him.  He forced himself to move, to take Thor in his mouth.  He didn’t even have a chance to try to please Thor.  At once, one of Thor’s hands was on his face, and the other on his shoulder, holding him in place.  All Loki could do was worry about not choking as Thor thrust himself against his throat.  He was surprised at how quickly Thor finished, and even more surprised when Thor let him go.  He rolled over, coughing and spitting Thor’s seed onto the blanket.  Then, Thor was on the bed with him, hands on his body and forcing him onto his back.  Loki froze once more, letting Thor lift his skirts and to as he pleased.  He wasn’t expecting Thor’s mouth on him, and he cried out in shock as Thor used his tongue to invade Loki.  Every ounce of him screamed to fight back, but instead he busied his hands by bunching his skirts up in them, holding the fabric with tight fists.  Thor’s mouth on him, and his fear of what Thor would do to him next mixed together to drive him mad, and soon he felt his own rising need.  He resisted for a moment, tensing his body against it.  But he soon gave up, letting himself succumb to the shame of taking pleasure from his brother’s tongue.  Thor wanted Loki to want him.  He had said it so many times, and Loki knew that wanting him like this would be the only way he stood a chance of walking out of that room again.  But as soon as Loki gave in, Thor was gone.

It lasted only a moment, and then Thor was on top of him, and his cock inside of him.  Loki groaned through his teeth, overwhelmed with self-loathing as he took his brother’s cock without protest.  He tried to ignore it.  He tried to give Thor what he wanted, but as soon as he moved against Thor’s body, Thor spilled with a sudden gasp.

But Loki knew that wasn’t the last of it.  He moved against Thor, and it was only a few moments before Thor held him against the mattress again, fucking him hard.  It hurt, and Loki’s need was not enough to overcome the pain of it.  But he threw everything he had into putting on a show.  It soon became too much, and Loki needed to get out from under him, so he cried out, again and again and again until his head ached from his performance, until he could truly take no more and collapsed with a final shout.  He lay back, panting through the pain in his cunt and in his head, as Thor finished inside him, his cock throbbing so hard Loki could feel it.

And yet, he still wasn’t done.  He started up once more, and Loki wanted to scream.  He stayed where he was, Thor’s body holding him down, as Thor rode him.  When he finished again, it was with a loud gasp right in Loki’s ear.  Loki flinched against it, glad when Thor finally rolled off of him a moment later.

Knowing Thor was nowhere near done, Loki stayed on his back, rearranging his skirts to cover himself up and staring up at the ceiling.  He had hoped his show had been good enough to earn him a little more patience as the evening wore on.

It was almost no time at all before Thor was back on top of him, once more pulling his skirts up.

“Please, no,” Loki said, shaking his head.

Thor didn’t listen.  He didn’t even respond beyond an angry grunt as he drove himself deep into Loki once more.  Loki hissed loudly, but stayed still, letting Thor do as he pleased.  He let Thor fuck him slowly, and only cringed as Thor picked up his pace once more.

“Damnit!” Thor shouted, slamming his fist against the bed.

Loki hissed sharply as Thor’s fist landed next to his ear, so close he could feel the air moving.  He was lucky it hadn’t been his face that caught Thor’s fist, and he wasn’t entirely certain Thor had intended to miss.  He watched as Thor rolled off him, his entire body trembling from a desire Loki knew all too well.

“Don’t go anywhere,” Thor said as he got up.

Loki nodded and sat up as he watched Thor disappear into his bath chamber.  He righted his skirts once more, and briefly considered making his escape.  But he knew Thor would chase him, and find him, and kill him.  He looked over his shoulder at Thor’s crate, and for a moment was tempted to go digging through it.  Instead, he sat right where he was, watching the door for Thor to return.  He did not know what Thor was doing in there, but he had a good idea.  The drug was horrific.  Loki was barely more than an animal under its influence.  He was conscious and cognizant of his every action, and yet powerless to stop himself.  Thor, he knew, would be feeling the same.  Thor would have likely revelled in it, if not for the fact that the drug did nothing to soothe a chafed and irritated cock that still craved more, and yet refused to rise or find release.

Finally, the door opened and Thor emerged once more, pulling his clothes off as he walked.  For a moment he paused in his step, and the two of them only looked at one another silently.

“On your hands and knees,” Thor said.

Loki had hoped Thor would still be unable to rise, but he shifted to obey all the same.  Thor soon joined him on the bed, mounting him like the wild beast he was.  Loki huffed out as Thor once more shoved his cock deep into him, and with clenched fists and jaw, huffed quietly as Thor rutted against him.  Loki moved down onto his elbows to better brace himself as Thor lost all control behind him, nearly throwing him into the board.  He cringed against the feeling of Thor’s seed dripping from his cunt and down his leg, but still remained silent and let Thor do as he pleased.  Then, Thor grabbed him and pulled him back, driving his cock so deep into Loki he couldn’t stop the yelp of pain that escaped him.  Thor kept it up, each time weakening Loki’s resolve to stay still and quiet.  Tears welled in his eyes as he cried out each time, knowing he’d never get used to this nightmare.

When Thor finally finished, he shoved Loki away sharply, and Loki let himself fall onto his side, curling his legs up to try to ease the pain deep in his stomach.

“Why can’t you be like this all the time?” Thor asked, sitting back across the bed.

Loki said nothing.  He sat up slowly, trying to once again cover himself to preserve what little dignity he had left.

“And take that damn thing off,” Thor said.

He looked at Thor, silently pleading to let him have this.  But Thor didn’t budge, so Loki pulled the gown off and dropped it onto the bed.  Exposed and bare, he brought his knees up to his chest to cover himself as much as possible.  Almost immediately, Thor was back on top of him, forcing his legs open before Loki even had a chance to ready himself.  He let himself fall backwards, giving in completely as Thor once again invaded him, plunging his cock deep inside of him.  Loki could see the sour frustration on his face, and when Thor growled in rage, Loki couldn’t stop himself from flinching away.  Thor lasted only a few more moments before he backed away again, his cock dripping pathetically onto the blanket between them.  He got up and strode across the room, flinging himself down onto the sofa.  Not taking his eyes off of Thor for even a moment, Loki slowly sat up, once more covering himself with his legs.

He watched Thor stew in his own frustrations, and knew he’d go mad from anticipation, never knowing when Thor would want to take him again.  He needed a distraction.  He needed something to occupy his mind, so he could try to escape this torture for even a few moments.

“May I go fetch a book?” Loki asked.

Thor threw an angry glare at him, making Loki flinch.  He hadn’t thought what he’d asked was too offensive, but apparently everything was offensive to Thor while he was in this state.

“Be quick,” Thor said after a long moment.

Loki nodded and dressed quickly, making sure he was put together well enough to be seen in public.  He adjusted his gown around his waist and dried his eyes with his hands, so nobody would see the tears that threatened to draw permanent lines down his cheeks.  Only then did he slip out into the dark corridor and make quick tracks for his hall.

Once inside, he was tempted to stay there.  He could lock the door, and hide from Thor for as long as the door would hold.  He looked at the door, knowing that once it gave, Thor would show no mercy.  He wasn’t capable of it, as he had shown again and again and again.  He thought about finding a knife and trying to do away with Thor once and for all, but that plan had only earned him a beating the last time he’d tried it.

If he was going to survive Thor, he was going to have to give in, fully and completely.  Not just this night, but until Odin released him from this punishment.  He would never see Asgard again, and wanted to be able to enjoy what short time he had left within the realm.  And the only way to do that would be to keep Thor happy with him, so he would no longer have to jump at every shadow that loomed in the corner.

And that started with returning to Thor’s chambers.  Loki picked a book from his shelf, grabbing it at random, and left his hall to return to Thor’s bed and the torment that awaited him there.  He quietly slipped back into the room, faltering only slightly at the way Thor stared at him.  Likewise keeping his gaze on Thor, Loki returned to the bed and settled down to await Thor’s next assault.  He opened book, forcing himself to look away from Thor, and to the page.

It was an old grimoire, written by some dead and forgotten old elf.  Loki read over half a page before Thor was back on his feet.  As soon as he perceived movement, Loki quickly set his book aside and watched Thor, waiting to be told what to do.

“Take that off,” Thor said as he returned to the bed.

Loki quickly undressed, exposing his entire body as he tossed the gown to the floor.  Before he could move, Thor had his hands on Loki’s body, pulling him down onto his back.  He pawed at Loki’s breasts, and dragged his tongue over Loki’s belly.  While Thor entertained himself, Loki shifted into a more comfortable position on his back, letting his legs fall open to give Thor room.  Thor was between his knees in an instant, and inside him an instant later, drawing a pained huff from Loki.  Again, he took his time with Loki’s body, rolling languidly into him while he kissed and nipped at his skin.  He kissed Loki’s mouth, and Loki let him, remaining still and obedient.  He couldn’t bring himself to put on another performance, but this seemed good enough for now. 

Suddenly, Thor grunted loudly against him as his entire body tensed.  He got up quickly, growling as he put distance between them.  Again, Loki flinched, sitting up and moving back quickly as Thor moved to the other side of the bed.  Once certain Thor was done for a while, Loki picked his book back up, and tried to get comfortable with it.  He couldn’t stay fully focused on the pages, but it was enough of a distraction to keep him from staring at Thor while he waited for the inevitable.  And the inevitable came again, and again, throughout the night.  Loki never encouraged him, remaining passive and still each time Thor took him.  He lost count of the amount of times Thor fucked him as the night wore on.  When Thor left him again to go lie on the sofa, Loki managed to drift off to sleep.  He woke with Thor on top of him and inside of him, and with a jolt of panic and outrage tried to shove him off before regaining control over himself.  His entire body ached and burned, but still he lay back and accepted his role. 

Thor didn’t finish, and once more ended the coupling with a loud shout and his fist slamming into the bed near Loki’s head.  Once more, Loki did not believe Thor intended to miss.

Eventually, Thor fell asleep on the bed next to him, and only then did Loki feel confident enough to dress and sneak off back to his hall.  If the drug had worked through his system to the point that Thor was able to sleep, then Loki knew he would not want to even be touched by the time he woke up.

Loki retreated to his hall and had a hot bath drawn, feeling filthy not just from everything coating his skin, but as though his very soul had been dragged through the mud.  Still, he knew his way forward, and if it meant shedding the last of his pride, then that’s what it would take.

He was hardly surprised when Thor failed to ambush him at banquet the following day.  He imagined Thor was still suffering from the after effects of the drug, and Loki took advantage of it.  He returned to his hall to return to a long-forgotten project.  He needed something to do, and compiling some of his favourite workings into a single volume was good, quiet work that kept his mind busy.  But of course, Thor would not even let him have that.  He let himself into Loki’s hall while he worked, and Loki knew this was it.  This was the day he shed all pride and shame for good.

He held up one hand to stay Thor while he finished copying a spell.

“Let me finish this,” he said.

He was surprised when Thor sat down on the sofa and let him finish.  Loki wrote quickly, copying the spell from one page to another.  Then, he carefully covered his ink to keep it from drying out and got to his feet.

“Come here,” Thor said.

Walking to Thor was the most difficult thing Loki had ever done in his life.  He sat down beside Thor, keeping enough distance between them that he did not have to feel Thor beside him.  He watched as Thor unlaced his breeches and freed his cock, hard and already dripping.

“Get on,” Thor said.

Loki inhaled, trying to steel himself.  It was one thing to lie back and take the abuse.  To be party to it was a whole other scandal.  But Loki could see the impatience on Thor’s face, and he knew if he did not do this, Thor would not hesitate to use force.  Sighing and hating himself for it, Loki moved over to mount Thor.  He adjusted his gown around them so he did not have to see Thor’s cock beneath him, and then lowered himself onto it.  Even more or less willing, his body did not want to take Thor in.  He hissed sharply at the pain that still rocked through him, pausing to give himself a moment to breathe.  He moved slowly, giving himself time to adjust until Thor was fully buried inside him, burning deep.  Loki ignored the agony, knowing worse things awaited him, and rocked against Thor.  The small movement shot another jolt through him, and he winced and hissed, but he did not stop.

Thor wanted this.  And as long as Thor got what he wanted, Loki would know something close to peace.  As Thor dropped his hands onto Loki’s hips to guide him faster, Loki bit his lip and rode through it.  His every muscle trembled and quaked as he fought against the urge to get up and flee.  Instead, he braced his hands against Thor’s shoulders, finding the leverage there to gain better control over the whole damn ordeal.

“You’re so good,” Thor said, panting heavily.  “I know you made this for me.”

Loki didn’t want to hear it.  “Shut up,” he said through his teeth.

Even as his eyes welled with tears, Loki decided it was time to bring this to an end.  He moved faster against Thor, clenching his jaw against the pained whimpers that threatened to come forth.  Thor held him close, burying his face in Loki’s tits and moaning loudly each time Loki rocked against him.  Then, his grip tightened further, and he pulled Loki hard down onto his cock as he finished.  Loki stilled at once, knowing he was done.  He let Thor spill inside him, and waited until he could feel Thor’s cock soften inside him before he got back up to his feet.  He quickly adjusted his gown and and dried his eyes, glad that was finally done with.

“I’d prefer to sleep alone tonight,” he said, returning to his desk.

He returned to his work, annoyed that Thor had chosen to stay.  But Loki didn’t argue, or press his case.  He simply got back to work on his project, allowing himself to get lost in it.  He only noticed Thor had got up when Loki felt him standing close behind him.

“Are you serious?” Loki asked, standing back up to get this over with.

Thor grabbed him, trying to force him over the desk, but Loki braced himself against it, resisting.

“Wait, wait!” he shouted, fighting against Thor.  “Hang on.”

He glared at Thor, once more surprised when Thor stepped back to give him room.  Loki quickly moved his project aside and covered the ink before he bent over the desk with a sigh.  Resting on his elbows, he looked straight ahead, ignoring Thor as he lifted his gown and thrust himself deep into his cunt.  Loki grunted loudly, trying to relax enough to take Thor without pain, but relaxing was difficult with his brother’s cock pounding into him.  He stood stiff, bracing against the desk and hissing each time Thor thrust against him.  Thor finished quickly this time, pulling out and spilling not in Loki’s cunt, but down his thigh instead.  Loki groaned loudly at it, but didn’t dare move until Thor did.  Only once Thor put distance between them did Loki right himself once more and step away.  He ignored Thor further and walked to the bath chamber to clean himself up.  Once Thor had finally gone, Loki called a servant to draw him a bath.

He went to bed each night hating himself.  Thor would drag him away from banquet, and Loki would lie on his back and take Thor’s abuse for as long as it lasted.  Or Thor would let himself into Loki’s hall, and he would ride Thor on the sofa, or let himself be bent over the desk as many times as Thor wished.  But it was easier this way.  He didn’t have bruises to hide this way.  He didn’t endure constant dread as he walked through corridors alone.  He gave Thor what he wanted each evening, and for the rest of the time, Thor left him alone.

But as certain gowns began to grow too tight around his waist, Loki began to confront a new problem.  Thor would fuck him each night, and he hated it, but he would find himself almost consumed by lust throughout the day.  It wasn’t the same animal lust that took him under Thor’s drug, but it was still irritating and got in the way of his ability to think.

And worse, Loki knew the solution.  But as soon as Thor entered the room, his lust was replaced with frustration and disgust.  And he did not dare seek out anyone else.  Instead, when he could take it no more, Loki skipped banquet and returned to Thor’s chambers.  He found the chest in the far corner and forced it open, finding both salvation and disappointment.  He recognised the thick, red potion that filled several vials.  He didn’t know what the first potion looked like, but it didn’t matter.  It clearly wasn’t there.  Thor had moved it, no doubt when he knew Loki had seen where he stored it.  Still, Loki pulled one of the vials from the chest and uncorked it, giving it a cautious sniff.  He poured a thick drop onto his finger, watching as it rolled over his skin, before licking it off.  It was a taste he recognised instantly, harsh and bitter.  He had no idea how much Thor had given him before, but he prayed he had not somehow exceeded it.   He replaced the vial in its spot, and then went to Thor’s bed and lay upon it, waiting.  He’d kept his book at the bedside, as distraction for himself on the nights when Thor did not find sleep easily.  He read his book, and waited, finding it increasingly difficult to focus on the words on the page.  Loki had fully lost track of time, and when Thor finally burst through the door, Loki jumped hard and looked up at him.

He was furious.  Furious and confused, and Loki realised his error immediately.  He hadn’t waited for Thor in his own bed for months.  Thor had not thought to find him here.

“I thought you’d come here first,” Loki said, trying to soothe Thor’s nerves.

Even as his fear subsided, he still could not get his breathing under control.  He wasn’t sure if he had taken too much, or if his nerves had only served to heighten everything.  He watched Thor shift his gaze across the room, to the chest he’d left open, and saw that finally they were on the same page.

“How much did you take?” Thor asked.

Loki licked his lips, finding his throat suddenly very dry.  “Not much,” he said, feeling like that was a lie.  “Enough.”

He watched as Thor walked around to the other side of the bed, and took off his boots.  He lay back, fully clothed, and glaring up at the ceiling.  Somehow, what Loki had done was wrong, and he didn’t understand how or why.  Then, finally, Thor unlaced his breeches and freed himself.  He was soft, but it took only a few moments with his own hand to bring him hard.  Then, he cradled both hands behind his head, and Loki moved before he had a chance to think twice.  He straddled Thor’s hips, sinking onto him for the first time in months not with pain, but with release.  He moaned loudly, riding Thor and for a moment, not caring who he was.  He was a beast, and Loki rode him, taking what he needed so desperately from him.  Thor sat up after a few moments and pulled Loki’s gown over his head, baring his tits to the air, and taking one of them in his mouth.  Loki moaned loudly again, throwing his entire body into taking from Thor what he had so many times taken from Loki. 

Thor took him by the hips, as he moved his mouth to his other breast, and guided him harder and faster on his cock, burying himself deep inside Loki.  Loki hadn’t known pure pleasure from another man in far too long, and he basked in it, trying to make it last.  He wrapped his arms around Thor’s shoulders, pulling them together as he arched his body.  He rode Thor hard, crying out loudly as that wave of release crashed over him.  His entire body trembled and shuddered, not from pain or agony, but from satisfaction.  He stilled, but Thor still guided him anyway, and Loki let him, moving against Thor as he cried out and spilled inside him.

Loki rolled off of him, falling onto his back as he struggled to breathe.  Moments later, Thor was on top of him again, dragging his tongue over his belly.  Loki rolled into him, arching his back to press himself harder against Thor’s mouth.  Thor drew a long line with his tongue, over Loki’s belly and his tits as he entered Loki once more.  Loki moved to take him deeper, still craving more.  He let Thor fuck him, holding Thor’s body against his as he moved against him.  Each time Thor’s cock drove deep, Loki let out a needy little yelp, growing higher and higher in pitch each time until he finally cried out as once more, his climax rocked his entire body.  Still, Thor fucked him, riding him, holding him against the bed, and finally finishing inside him once more. 

He rolled off of Loki, leaving him alone on the bed while he struggled to catch his breath.  After a long moment, Loki regained his composure enough to sit up and lean against the board, though he still panted quietly.

“Later,” Thor said, settling in to go to sleep.

Loki nodded weakly.  The drug still worked within him, but it was not an all-consuming lust.  He managed to pick up his book again and even read more of it, despite the need that still smouldered within him.

But whatever Thor’s idea of later was, it wasn’t soon enough.  He fell asleep, leaving Loki on his own.  But his need wasn’t so great that it kept him awake either.  Soon, he too shifted to move beneath the blankets, and eventually drifted off to sleep while he read.

He woke some time later, not remembering ever falling asleep.  He lay draped over Thor’s chest, with Thor’s arm wrapped around his shoulders and his hand on Loki’s arm.  So many times in the past, Loki woke exactly like this, but it was a lifetime ago.  Back when they were still brothers; when Thor was someone he loved, unconditionally and without question.  Like this, in bed with a monster, Loki very suddenly feared for his life.

Thor noticed he was awake, and rolled him onto his back.  He intended to just give Thor what he wanted, but all it took was Thor’s cock pressed up against his cunt to reignite everything.  Thor took him, and Loki not only let him, but encouraged him, rolling into his body to take more.  When Thor kissed his mouth, Loki still could not bring himself to kiss back.  He let Thor take what he wanted, while Loki took pleasure where he could.  He rocked and writhed against Thor’s cock, drawing nearer and nearer to climax until it took him with a loud shout.  He collapsed onto his back, panting heavily even as Thor still rode him.  When Thor finished, he rolled off of Loki again, giving them both room to breathe.

Loki slowly sat up, and turned to look out to the dark sky through the window.  It was more late than early, and Loki wanted to sleep in his own bed.  He glanced back to Thor, and then found his gown on the floor and dressed.  When Thor didn’t protest, he took it as permission to leave, and quietly slipped out.

He didn’t want to use the drug much after that.  He didn’t like the man he was when he took pleasure from Thor’s body, if he was even a man at all.  Instead, he went back to letting Thor find him, and quietly giving in to Thor’s desires.  He only took the drug when his own lust became distracting, and he only allowed such displays to happen in Thor’s chambers.  His own hall had been defiled enough.  He didn’t need the disgust of riding Thor to exhaustion on top of everything else that had happened in his own bed.

As his belly grew larger, he found his lust more and more of a source of irritation.  He learned what the smallest dose he could take was, to get himself needy enough to want Thor, but not so needy he stayed all night in his bed.  He never hated himself more than he did on those nights, though if he didn’t give in to it eventually, he knew he’d go mad.

Worse, he hated what Thor had done to his body.  He hated the way it grew and swelled, no longer his own.  Mornings became miserable.  Afternoons became miserable.  Evenings became miserable.  Sleep slowly became impossible.  The air felt too hot and heavy, and often all it took was one wrong grape or nut on his plate to send him running to vomit.

There were times when it seemed to last all day.  Where nothing he could do would stop it, and where his own skin felt too hot and close to his body.  When Thor found him in such a state, wearing only an apron to protect what little modesty he had left, he wanted to scream. 

“Leave me alone,” he said, laying on his back in his bed and staring straight up at the ceiling.

He let his head drop to his pillow, trying to breathe through his mouth to soothe his stomach.  Predictably, Thor did not leave him alone.  He stepped closer, sat on the bed, and drew his hand over Loki’s exposed belly.

“I’ll vomit on you if you don’t take your hand off me,” Loki said.

If Loki were in any better of a mood, he might have been surprised when Thor pulled his hand away.  But he was sick, and his entire body ached, and the last thing he wanted to do was pretend he didn’t hate Thor with his entire soul.

“Shall I fetch a healer?” Thor asked.

“No.  You should leave,” Loki said.

Thor didn’t leave.  He took off his boots, and then climbed into bed beside Loki, not quite close enough to press their bodies together.  Loki tolerated it, only because throwing him out would take far more effort than he had the energy for.

“You did this to me, you bastard,” Loki said.

“You did this to yourself,” Thor said, and Loki hated him for it.

Thor touched his belly again, and whether it was the pressure from his hand, or the bile that rose every time Thor touched him, Loki wasn’t certain.  All he knew was that he needed to get up.

“Oh, hel,” he said, struggling to sit up.

Thor pulled his hand away and pushed Loki so he could sit up.  Leaving him there, Loki ran to the batch chamber, making it to a chamberpot just in time to vomit.  Everything hurt, and he didn’t care if Thor heard him cry.  He finally composed himself and cleaned himself up before heading back to bed on shaky legs.  Annoyingly, Thor was still there, though he moved to give Loki more space.  Collapsing back down onto the bed as delicately as he could, all Loki wanted to do was sleep.  He ignored Thor next to him, and focused only on breathing until finally the sour pit in his stomach subsided enough to let him drift off.

But even that sorry display wasn’t enough for Thor to back off.  He returned again the following evening, and finding Loki up and moving around, he dragged Loki back to bed.  If Loki was going to endure this, he decided to endure it on his knees, bent over with his weight rested on his elbows.  If anything else, it took the pressure off of his back for a bit, and it seemed even Thor understood that he had to be gentle.  He also understood that when Loki said no, he was finally going to be heard.  For whatever demented reason, Thor wanted this child, and Loki knew he would not do anything to endanger it.  Loki still played it safe, still giving in to Thor when he felt well enough, but those days quickly grew few and far between.

He knew he would soon be cast out of Asgard, and he needed a plan.  He didn’t know what situations would present themselves, so he needed a backup as well.  But if he was going to be wanted for murder, he might as well commit the crime.  Further, he had gone through too much torment to give the child away.  He could have driven a knife through his stomach at any point, but he couldn’t bear the thought.  The knife, if he used it, would go into Thor’s throat instead.  And if not the knife, then poison.  But one way or another, Thor would die for what he had done.

Hiding both was an easy task.  Loki had taken over one of the tables beside Thor’s bed, and Thor had let it happen.  He slipped both the knife and the potion into the drawer with everything else, ready for the moment he needed them.

After, he went out to the terrace to look at the sky, and to try to memorise as much of it as he could.  He would soon never see it again, and the thought stabbed through him with a grief that nearly made him choke.  It was like this that Thor found him, and when Thor tried to drag him back to bed Loki spun and spat in his face.

“Do not fucking touch me,” he said.

“What the hel is wrong with you?” Thor demanded, using his hand to wipe his face.

There was so much wrong with Loki, he could only scream in Thor’s face.  Suddenly, the door opened, and a guard stepped inside.  Thor looked at Loki, shook his head, and walked out of the room with the guard.

Loki screamed again as the door closed.  He didn’t know what Thor had been dragged away to, and he didn’t care.  He was going to sleep in his own bed that night.  Loki strode across the room and threw the door open, finding Thor still outside, holding Odin’s spear.

“What is this?” Loki asked, daring not to think.

Thor looked at the spear in his hand, and then over to Loki.  “Father’s dead,” he said.

Loki shook his head.  “No,” he said, terror rising in him at the realisation of what this truly meant.  “No.”

He turned and fled back into Thor’s chambers, letting the door swing shut behind him.  With Odin dead, Loki’s plan had died as well.  Thor was king.  Killing Thor when he was a prince was a tremendous risk, but all of Asgard knew what a monster he was.  Even Odin knew what a monster he was.  Loki was certain that Odin would have come to see Thor’s death as a mercy to the entire realm, had Loki been able to execute his plan.

But Thor was king.  His death would still be a mercy to the entire realm, but it would end Loki’s life as well.  He needed a new plan, and he needed one quickly.

He didn’t attend the coronation the following day, too sick and stricken.  He kept himself locked in Thor’s chambers, knowing he’d be left alone while Thor undertook his new duties.  But his desire to be left alone faded quickly as his sickness gave way to unbearable pain.  He fell to his knees, screaming as something inside him broke.  Moments later, two guards where standing over him, and before Loki even understood what was happening, they picked him up and put him into the bed.

The guards disappeared then, and were shortly after replaced by several midwives, busying about.  There were times when he thought the worst might be over, only for the worst to truly start up.  But despite the pain, the midwives kept telling him to wait.  They soothed his brow with cold water, and undressed him so his skin could be cooled by the air, and still the worst seemed yet to come.

“She’s such a slight thing,” he heard one of them say.  “And that brute of a husband of hers.  I don’t know how we’ll manage.”

The child didn’t come until the morning light began to touch the sky.  And as it came, Loki thought he would be torn in two.  He screamed until he had nothing left to scream, and then finally it was over.  As he recovered, panting and sweating, one of the midwives took the child to be cleaned up.  A few minutes later, she returned, coaxing Loki into sitting up enough to take the child in his arms. 

It was a girl, and Loki’s heart broke at the sight of it.  He sobbed quietly, as the midwife arranged the infant in his arms to take his breast.  Loki watched the child, letting his tears fall.  Even if Odin had lived, Loki would not have been able to leave this child behind.  And Odin had to have known that.

When the midwife came to take the child away again, Loki reached out, grasping her wrist in a tight grip.

“Don’t you ever let him near her,” he said, his voice ragged and broken.  “Never.  Do you hear me?”

Slowly, the midwife nodded, and Loki knew she understood, and what was left of his heart shattered.  He let her take the infant, feeling so broken and exhausted.

“Rest,” the midwife said.  “We’ll keep him away so he doesn’t bother you.”

Nodding, Loki fell back into the bed and curled up on his side, still crying silently.  He covered his mouth with his hands, knowing exactly what came next, had having no way to stop it.

They kept Thor away for nearly a week, before he finally found a moment to sneak in when Loki was unattended.  He sat on the bed, the infant at his breast, still so tired.  He looked up at Thor, but said nothing, praying that even he wouldn’t be so monstrous to force himself on Loki then.

“So, you’re still here,” Thor said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Loki looked back at their daughter.  “Where would I go?” he asked.

“Where, indeed?” asked Thor.  “You sure you don’t want to slay me in my sleep and disappear into the night?”

Loki huffed tiredly.  Of course he knew what Odin had told Loki.  Of course he knew Loki was supposed to be gone by now.

“Slay a king?” he asked, hating Odin even more than he hated Thor.  “I’d never make it past the gates.”

The two of them sat silently for a long while, as Loki watched the child at his breast.  At that moment, the child was the only important thing in the entire realm.

“I’m not a fool,” Thor said.

Loki looked up at him, wanting to ask when he’d figured everything out.  But it didn’t matter.  He knew Odin’s plan, and only a fool would have thought Loki would go along with it without exacting revenge.  Sighing, Loki looked back at the child.

“In the drawer,” he said.

Thor got up and moved to the table beside the bed, pulling the drawer open.  Loki had not had the chance to empty it.  Thor pulled out the dagger and the poison and looked at them for a long moment.  Even without looking up at Thor, Loki knew he would pay for this later.

“So which were you going to use?” Thor asked, taking both away.

Loki shrugged.  His plan had been terrible, but he blamed it on the pregnancy.  “Whichever option presented itself,” he said.

Thor laughed quietly, something bitter and horrible, and Loki hated it.

“But now I’m king,” he said.

“But now you’re king,” Loki said back, still not looking up at him.

“I’m told you need your rest,” Thor said, stepping toward the door.  “And once I’m told you’re rested, we’ll try again for an heir.”

Loki knew he could end this.  Right then, he could end it.  He could hand the child off to a wet nurse, resume his natural form, and disappear to become the criminal Odin intended.  But he couldn’t leave the child, and if he retook his form and took her with him, he would have to find a wet nurse anyway, and risk detection.  If he left as he was, he’d only remain vulnerable and in danger.

Loki nodded once, shallow but sharply, choosing this torment because he could not bear the alternative.